This would be the last post for the year 2005...
It would also be my last night shift for the year 2005, but I would be spending the countdown in my ward with my colleagues and patients.
So, let's face it, it is a brand new year, I am going to be one year older. Hopefully, I would also be able to change my marital status too by the end of May.
So in the 2006, I pray for happiness in whatever I do and may my relationship with Baku grow stronger. I also pray for those who is reading this post of mine to be contented and happy in their lives. As for Geraldine, I wish for God to bless her health so that she would be able to return back to school to do what she enjoys most. Amen.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
ND Tonight
Hi blog,
I just woke up. Feel like a pig already. Even Wombat thinks I am a pig princess sleeping more than 12 hours for the past two days.
Anyway, I am going on night shift tonight so I won't be enjoying normal sleep for the next few days until 2 January 2005. I would be sleeping in the mornings until late afternoon and must be fully awake from 8pm-8am. Haha... like a noturnal creature.
So... let me wish everyone who reads and is reading my blog...
HAPPY 2006 & May All Good Things Come in 2006...
(I also truly hope that 2006 would be a better year for me since I have so many stuff to look forward to in 2006)
I just woke up. Feel like a pig already. Even Wombat thinks I am a pig princess sleeping more than 12 hours for the past two days.
Anyway, I am going on night shift tonight so I won't be enjoying normal sleep for the next few days until 2 January 2005. I would be sleeping in the mornings until late afternoon and must be fully awake from 8pm-8am. Haha... like a noturnal creature.
So... let me wish everyone who reads and is reading my blog...
HAPPY 2006 & May All Good Things Come in 2006...
(I also truly hope that 2006 would be a better year for me since I have so many stuff to look forward to in 2006)
Friday, December 23, 2005
Thots...
I was on the bus this evening, on the way to meet Baku for dinner. I was thinking about some stuff and suddenly this train of thoughts struck me.
Life = A Book
The start of life is like starting an empty book. As life past, you would begin to write down the details of memories in the book, page by page. For beautiful memories that you wish to remember, you would use a pen and highlighter to note the details. For not so beautiful memories but worth rememebering you would just use a pen to write it down. As for those memories that you don't wish to remember, you would write it in pencil and then erase it whenever you wish to replace it.
Thus, as life progresses day by day, year by year, you realized that the beautiful memories that you have jotted down with pen and highlighter were not worth remembering and you desperately wish to erase it so as to move on in life, you would flip back to the wanted page, where you jotted down that beautiful memory, which by now hurts you deep inside, use a correction tape or liquid paper to blank out that part of the page. However, after the liquid paper or correcton tape dries out, the page becomes permernantly damaged by that blot of white 'mess'.
Few months or years down the road, as you accidentally open up to the page where you have created the 'mess', you began to still recall what was the detail that you had intended to forget or intended to erase.
Why? This is because, the mess you create had reminded you of the painful part which you had intended to erase off... So no matter how hard you try to forget a memories that was 'imprinted' in your brain, you will NEVER be able to do so.
Hence, moving on in life is not about forgetting the painful memories but more of closing one eye to that memory and telling yourself, life is not just about that particular upsetting memory. It is about leaving that memory still engraved in you mind but constantly reminding yourself to ignore it.
Walking away or avoiding the memory is also impossible... As wounds would always heal with a scar or a keloid... Looking at the scar or keloid is just a way of knowing that you have been hurt before. The pain doesn't hurt now but you can still remember the pain when you have been hurt even if it is 100 or even 1000 years later... (That is if we do live that long.)
Life = A Book
The start of life is like starting an empty book. As life past, you would begin to write down the details of memories in the book, page by page. For beautiful memories that you wish to remember, you would use a pen and highlighter to note the details. For not so beautiful memories but worth rememebering you would just use a pen to write it down. As for those memories that you don't wish to remember, you would write it in pencil and then erase it whenever you wish to replace it.
Thus, as life progresses day by day, year by year, you realized that the beautiful memories that you have jotted down with pen and highlighter were not worth remembering and you desperately wish to erase it so as to move on in life, you would flip back to the wanted page, where you jotted down that beautiful memory, which by now hurts you deep inside, use a correction tape or liquid paper to blank out that part of the page. However, after the liquid paper or correcton tape dries out, the page becomes permernantly damaged by that blot of white 'mess'.
Few months or years down the road, as you accidentally open up to the page where you have created the 'mess', you began to still recall what was the detail that you had intended to forget or intended to erase.
Why? This is because, the mess you create had reminded you of the painful part which you had intended to erase off... So no matter how hard you try to forget a memories that was 'imprinted' in your brain, you will NEVER be able to do so.
Hence, moving on in life is not about forgetting the painful memories but more of closing one eye to that memory and telling yourself, life is not just about that particular upsetting memory. It is about leaving that memory still engraved in you mind but constantly reminding yourself to ignore it.
Walking away or avoiding the memory is also impossible... As wounds would always heal with a scar or a keloid... Looking at the scar or keloid is just a way of knowing that you have been hurt before. The pain doesn't hurt now but you can still remember the pain when you have been hurt even if it is 100 or even 1000 years later... (That is if we do live that long.)
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Sianz To The Max
Dear blog,
I am sorry that I didn't blog for so long, leaving you out in the cold, suffering from spiders crawling and cobwebs all over you. Just can't find any topic and time to type an entry. I know you will forgive me for leaving you bored.
I think I am getting psychotic. Keke... Muah hahahaha....
My NM is getting on my nerve...
1) No Xmas celebration for me. She gave me evening shift on the 24th and morning shift on Christmas day itself. So that means I can't enjoy myself fully on Christmas as I have to wake up early.
2) She gave me 5 days of AM duty from 18 Dec 2005 to 22 Dec 2005! I totally wake morning shift and yet she can give me that. I have never got 5 days straight evening shift before so no reason why she gives me 5 days straight AM duty!
3) She keeps nagging at us for small, simple, trivia matters... (No wonder she ain't married, 'coz no guy of the right mind would be able to stand her.)
4) She owes me a total of 1 day off and my xmas + new year 2006 PH days. That is 3 days in total.
5) Oh yeah, I am working night duty on 31 Dec 2005, so no countdown for me...
On the bright note:
1) I have already booked my furnitures package for our future house. ( Maybe next year or maybe in 2010) Haha!
2) Baku and I are certified 'clean' and free from HIV. (Can R.O.M safely already.)
3) 2005 is ending soon. Which I hope life would begin to get better in 2006! (Hopefully...)
I am sorry that I didn't blog for so long, leaving you out in the cold, suffering from spiders crawling and cobwebs all over you. Just can't find any topic and time to type an entry. I know you will forgive me for leaving you bored.
I think I am getting psychotic. Keke... Muah hahahaha....
My NM is getting on my nerve...
1) No Xmas celebration for me. She gave me evening shift on the 24th and morning shift on Christmas day itself. So that means I can't enjoy myself fully on Christmas as I have to wake up early.
2) She gave me 5 days of AM duty from 18 Dec 2005 to 22 Dec 2005! I totally wake morning shift and yet she can give me that. I have never got 5 days straight evening shift before so no reason why she gives me 5 days straight AM duty!
3) She keeps nagging at us for small, simple, trivia matters... (No wonder she ain't married, 'coz no guy of the right mind would be able to stand her.)
4) She owes me a total of 1 day off and my xmas + new year 2006 PH days. That is 3 days in total.
5) Oh yeah, I am working night duty on 31 Dec 2005, so no countdown for me...
On the bright note:
1) I have already booked my furnitures package for our future house. ( Maybe next year or maybe in 2010) Haha!
2) Baku and I are certified 'clean' and free from HIV. (Can R.O.M safely already.)
3) 2005 is ending soon. Which I hope life would begin to get better in 2006! (Hopefully...)
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Counting down...
Today is 5 months before ROM and our 5 years 7mths anniversary... Celebrated it by:
1) Eating at Coffee Club (Raffles' Place) and having MUDDY MUD PIE.
2) Bought another SK ring for myself
3) Bought Blackcurrant tea to share
4) Watched Chicken Little at Century Square
Now, gonna juz sit back, relax, enjoy our Blackcurrant Tea and spend some quality couplehood time together.
1) Eating at Coffee Club (Raffles' Place) and having MUDDY MUD PIE.
2) Bought another SK ring for myself
3) Bought Blackcurrant tea to share
4) Watched Chicken Little at Century Square
Now, gonna juz sit back, relax, enjoy our Blackcurrant Tea and spend some quality couplehood time together.
Friday, December 09, 2005
5 Months Countdown
Yesterday was my friend's ROM and yeah, I was not invited... Tried calling her but she didn't pick up the call. Wanted to congratulate her and asked her how things were but didn't get the chance to. So sad...
Anyway, tomorrow would mark the countdown to 5 more months before it is my turn to ROM. Baku and me has came out with many ideas on how to celebrate that day. I have thought of either a quiet, hush hush family dinner or probably buffet. As the both of us are kind of introvent and don't really like much crowd, the family dinner sounds more feasible.
Our wedding bands are still stuck in Belgium and would be back in mid January 2006 as informed by Max, our SK salesman. *sigh* It better be good and perfect this time, otherwise I still won't hesitate to send it back for furthur amendments.
Side track a bit:
Oh yeah, I argued with this H.O called Benedict Yan 2 days ago and trust me, from this incident I realized how petty some man can be. Lol, I think he should have wore a skirt instead of a pants. He called me hostile for some stupid reason which I doubt it was even called hostile to began with. Somehow, everyone in my ward thinks he is really a sissy. Still pissed off with him. Best of all, my NM still sides him. (As usual...) My NM still can tell me that I am one who is childish, revengeful, making matters big out of a molehill and asked me not to have a cold war with him... *sigh*
Anyway, tomorrow would mark the countdown to 5 more months before it is my turn to ROM. Baku and me has came out with many ideas on how to celebrate that day. I have thought of either a quiet, hush hush family dinner or probably buffet. As the both of us are kind of introvent and don't really like much crowd, the family dinner sounds more feasible.
Our wedding bands are still stuck in Belgium and would be back in mid January 2006 as informed by Max, our SK salesman. *sigh* It better be good and perfect this time, otherwise I still won't hesitate to send it back for furthur amendments.
Side track a bit:
Oh yeah, I argued with this H.O called Benedict Yan 2 days ago and trust me, from this incident I realized how petty some man can be. Lol, I think he should have wore a skirt instead of a pants. He called me hostile for some stupid reason which I doubt it was even called hostile to began with. Somehow, everyone in my ward thinks he is really a sissy. Still pissed off with him. Best of all, my NM still sides him. (As usual...) My NM still can tell me that I am one who is childish, revengeful, making matters big out of a molehill and asked me not to have a cold war with him... *sigh*
Monday, December 05, 2005
Misses At The Moment
Listening to some Christian worship songs while typing this entry.
Feelings: Neutral
Mood: Missing someone (don't want to say who so as to prevent any furthur misunderstandings)
Stuff I miss lots at this moment...
1) Peppermint ice cream (with chocolate chips)
2) Making pewter bowl at Royal Selangor
3) Sipping 'Heavenly Senses' (with lots of menthol syrup)
4) Wombat being online (she went out)
5) His voice
6) Muddy Mud Pie (yummy)
Stuff I hate this moment...
1) Got to work AM tomorrow (damn't! gotta wake up early)
2) Portrait Of A Home 2 ended with a no proper ending (what happened to Daqiu and Baozhu in the end)
3) It is still 2005 and still 26days before 2005 ends
4) The ribena is too sour (put too much syrup already)
5) Myself for not understanding myself well enough
Hope tomorrow would be a better day and that I am not the overall I/C for the 20 patients... I would just die flat...
Feelings: Neutral
Mood: Missing someone (don't want to say who so as to prevent any furthur misunderstandings)
Stuff I miss lots at this moment...
1) Peppermint ice cream (with chocolate chips)
2) Making pewter bowl at Royal Selangor
3) Sipping 'Heavenly Senses' (with lots of menthol syrup)
4) Wombat being online (she went out)
5) His voice
6) Muddy Mud Pie (yummy)
Stuff I hate this moment...
1) Got to work AM tomorrow (damn't! gotta wake up early)
2) Portrait Of A Home 2 ended with a no proper ending (what happened to Daqiu and Baozhu in the end)
3) It is still 2005 and still 26days before 2005 ends
4) The ribena is too sour (put too much syrup already)
5) Myself for not understanding myself well enough
Hope tomorrow would be a better day and that I am not the overall I/C for the 20 patients... I would just die flat...
Friday, December 02, 2005
Story Of Candy Cane
Has anyone ever wonder why and how the candy cane came about? I did! So I went to search the net and found this simplified article on it...
The Candy Cane Story
A candymaker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would remind people of the true meaning of Christmas; so he made the candy cane to incorporate several symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy. White to symbolize the Virgin Birth and the sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock, the foundation of the Church, and the firmness of the promises of God.
The candymaker then shaped his cane into the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to the earth as Savior. It could also represent the staff of the "Good Shepherd" with which He reaches down to to reclaim the fallen lambs who, like sheep, have gone astray.
Thinking that the candy was somewhat plain, the candymaker stained it with red stripes. He used three small stripes to show the stripes of the scourging Jesus received. The large red stripe was for the blood shed by Christ on the cross so that we could have the promise of eternal life.
The Candy Cane Story
A candymaker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would remind people of the true meaning of Christmas; so he made the candy cane to incorporate several symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy. White to symbolize the Virgin Birth and the sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock, the foundation of the Church, and the firmness of the promises of God.
The candymaker then shaped his cane into the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to the earth as Savior. It could also represent the staff of the "Good Shepherd" with which He reaches down to to reclaim the fallen lambs who, like sheep, have gone astray.
Thinking that the candy was somewhat plain, the candymaker stained it with red stripes. He used three small stripes to show the stripes of the scourging Jesus received. The large red stripe was for the blood shed by Christ on the cross so that we could have the promise of eternal life.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
1 Dec 2005
You know when you give your love away
It opens your heart, everything is new
And you know time will always find a way
To let your heart believe it's true
You know love is everything you say
A whisper, a word, promises you give
You feel it in the heartbeat of the day
You know this is the way love is
Chorus
Amarantine Amarantine Amarantine
Love is always love
You know love may sometimes make you cry
So let the tears go, they will flow away
For you know love will always let you fly
How far a heart can fly away
Chorus
You know when love's shining in your eyes
It may be the stars fallen from above
And you know love is with you when you rise
For night and day belong to love
---------------------------------------------------
Somehow, listening to songs by Enya makes my mood more calm and less stressed up. The lyrics to her songs are also meaningful.
Tomorrow, I would be going back home, which means less time to blog and to be online as my parents would be 'snatching' the computer from me. Another thing about going home is that I have to face someone I never love and never could bring myself to respect and love her anymore. Sad case right? But life is has to go on with her 'cause she would always be present unless she dies an early death. (Cruel of me to be cursing her but oh well, that is how I really feel.)
Today, is Baku's first day at work. Wonder how he is doing? Hope that he does enjoy his current job 'cause the past jobs weren't up to his liking.
Next week, my dear friend would be entering a new phrase in her life with the guy she loves. She would signing the 'contract' of a lifetime. Wish her a blissful married life with Simon. *envious* Mine would be so many weeks and days later... *sigh*
It opens your heart, everything is new
And you know time will always find a way
To let your heart believe it's true
You know love is everything you say
A whisper, a word, promises you give
You feel it in the heartbeat of the day
You know this is the way love is
Chorus
Amarantine Amarantine Amarantine
Love is always love
You know love may sometimes make you cry
So let the tears go, they will flow away
For you know love will always let you fly
How far a heart can fly away
Chorus
You know when love's shining in your eyes
It may be the stars fallen from above
And you know love is with you when you rise
For night and day belong to love
---------------------------------------------------
Somehow, listening to songs by Enya makes my mood more calm and less stressed up. The lyrics to her songs are also meaningful.
Tomorrow, I would be going back home, which means less time to blog and to be online as my parents would be 'snatching' the computer from me. Another thing about going home is that I have to face someone I never love and never could bring myself to respect and love her anymore. Sad case right? But life is has to go on with her 'cause she would always be present unless she dies an early death. (Cruel of me to be cursing her but oh well, that is how I really feel.)
Today, is Baku's first day at work. Wonder how he is doing? Hope that he does enjoy his current job 'cause the past jobs weren't up to his liking.
Next week, my dear friend would be entering a new phrase in her life with the guy she loves. She would signing the 'contract' of a lifetime. Wish her a blissful married life with Simon. *envious* Mine would be so many weeks and days later... *sigh*
Monday, November 28, 2005
Life Sux Recently
Life has not been good to me recently.
Firstly, the patients nowadays are so demanding and even expecting to be treated like Presidents when they are only in 'C' class. Just attending to Room 7 is bad enough! He expects us nurses to be like his maid cum massagers cum 'wife'. He even asked my friend to help him rub his private part with the powder we applied for him during sponging. Today asked me to massage his upper + lower limbs before helping him apply the medicated plasters.
Secondly, NM Chan has been sort of cranky and extremely nagging recently. She is like so client orientated that she hinders our job. It is because of her that all our patients are behaving like Kings. However, the funny thing is that she is only nice to those male patients and puts more attention with male patients' complain. It is most probably that she is deprived, that is why! Lolx. ( I am so bad , making fun of my own NM like that.) But, she always listens to one-sided story and jump to conclusion that we as nurse victimized the patients when actually the patient is one with psychiatric thinking.
Anyway, I am finally heading back home and Baku has landed a good job. Hope that he doesn't happy happy quit again. He better start thinking of our future and stability as we are going to ROM soon and no way am I going to commit my life with guy with no job stability.
Lastly... just a song to express something...
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry
Cry.....I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...
Firstly, the patients nowadays are so demanding and even expecting to be treated like Presidents when they are only in 'C' class. Just attending to Room 7 is bad enough! He expects us nurses to be like his maid cum massagers cum 'wife'. He even asked my friend to help him rub his private part with the powder we applied for him during sponging. Today asked me to massage his upper + lower limbs before helping him apply the medicated plasters.
Secondly, NM Chan has been sort of cranky and extremely nagging recently. She is like so client orientated that she hinders our job. It is because of her that all our patients are behaving like Kings. However, the funny thing is that she is only nice to those male patients and puts more attention with male patients' complain. It is most probably that she is deprived, that is why! Lolx. ( I am so bad , making fun of my own NM like that.) But, she always listens to one-sided story and jump to conclusion that we as nurse victimized the patients when actually the patient is one with psychiatric thinking.
Anyway, I am finally heading back home and Baku has landed a good job. Hope that he doesn't happy happy quit again. He better start thinking of our future and stability as we are going to ROM soon and no way am I going to commit my life with guy with no job stability.
Lastly... just a song to express something...
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry
Cry.....I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...
Monday, November 21, 2005
Juz Feel Kinda Weird
Well, I know that this is stale news already but still I can't believed that WWE Superstar, Eddie Guerrero, has passed away suddenly. He is such a viva-lazzar, action speaks louder than words, cool, funny and cute wrestler. Feel that life is such a fragile thing. With the snap of the finger, God will just bring whoever He feels like back to Heaven with Him.Today, my patient who was still okie yesterday suddenly turned breathless and had respiratory distress. She was sent to the High Dependency unit in the end. Long story... Anyway, this auntie is a very cheerful, positive, and nice lady. She won't demand much and even when I fumbled with her TPN procedure, she still smiled and said it is okie. Nice family too. Very understanding.
Then, the other day, my another patient had just died from A.M.I (acute myocardial infarction). According to my colleague who witnessed the incident, she told me that within 10mins, that patient was just gone...
Life is so fragile... *Sigh*
NM Chan is also getting on my nerves asking me to write memos for even the slightest reason just to cover her A$$. In a matter of few days, I have already written 2 memos. One when I was ill with headache and another one today. Nagging at us and stressing us all at work just to cover her A$$. When patient absconded, she was more worried about the patient robbing a bank then the health well-being of the patient. So ridiculous! Then, when bedbugs started 'invading' a certain room of the ward, she was more worried that the ward's name would be degraded instead of worrying about the patient on if they get bitten by the bed bugs.
Been very frustrated with my mind-set. I kind of Thank God that I managed to maintain my sanity even though I have been through lots of upsetting stuff. Thank God that He gave me strength to carry on being positive and carry on working despite having 30mins rest in 2 days. I was so afraid that I may not 'survive' today as I didn't sleep at all last night. Suffering from insomnia recently, especially when I am on AM shift. Not sure if it is due to the fact that I worry and stress myself with the hectic AM routines and patient care stuff. Always told myself to provide the best I can to my patients and try not to lose my temper at those who irritates us for the most minor stuff due to their dementia or demanding nature. But somehow, I still lose my cool at them especially with those who are demanding. I think that I really need to seek some kind of help to relax my tensions and anxiety mind-set.
God, kindly lend me all the support you can provide to walk out of these dark times of mine. Hope that I will snap out of these negative thoughts soon. Bless my future ROM with Jeff and bless me with more tolerance towards those who tests my patience. Amen. Thank you for all you have provided me with for the past few days.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Untitled
1) I am sick. On 2 days MC
2) Down with tension headache and flu
3)Wedding bands were ready for collection. Came back from Belgium but still not up to standard. So sent back. Will be ready next year January. (Yupz latest news updated on 22/10/2005 at 7pm)
4) Somehow I feel so sick. So stressed up with stuff.
5) Maybe I am going to suffer from a mental breakdown soon.
6) Less $140 again for the MC taken. But health more important right?
7) I hate being ill...
2) Down with tension headache and flu
3)Wedding bands were ready for collection. Came back from Belgium but still not up to standard. So sent back. Will be ready next year January. (Yupz latest news updated on 22/10/2005 at 7pm)
4) Somehow I feel so sick. So stressed up with stuff.
5) Maybe I am going to suffer from a mental breakdown soon.
6) Less $140 again for the MC taken. But health more important right?
7) I hate being ill...
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Exorcism Of Emily Rose
Went to see 'The Exorcism Of Emily Rose'. It kind of triggered my curiosity on the truth of the movie as it is states that the movie was made based on a true story.
So anyway, found out the girl who was possessed is actually not called Emily Rose but Anneliese Michel.
Actual story:
From her birth on the 21st of September, 1952, Anneliese Michel enjoyed the life of a normal, religiously nurtured young girl. Without warning, her life changed on a day in 1968 when she began shaking and found she was unable to control her body. She could not call out for her parents, Josef and Anna, or any of her 3 sisters. A neurologist at the Psychiatric Clinic Wurzburg diagnosed her with "Grand Mal" epilepsy. Because of the strength of the epileptic fits, and the severity of the depression that followed, Anneliese was admitted for treatment at the hospital.
Soon after the attacks began, Anneliese started seeing devilish grimaces during her daily praying. It was the fall of 1970, and while the young people of the world were enjoying the liberal freedoms of the time, Anneliese was battling with the belief that she was possessed. It seemed there was no other explanation for the appearance of devilish visions during her prayers. Voices also began following her, saying Anneliese will "stew in hell". She mentioned the "demons" to the doctors only once, explaining that they have started to give her orders. The doctors seem unable to help, and Anneliese lost hope that medicine was going to be able to cure her.
In the summer of 1973, her parents visited different pastors to request an exorcism. Their requests were rejected and they were given recommendations that the now 20 year old Anneliese should continue with medication and treatment. It was explained that the process by which the Church proves a possession (Infestatio) is strictly defined, and until all the criterion is met, a Bishop can not approve an exorcism. The requirements, to name a few, include an aversion to religious objects, speaking in a language the person has never learned, and supernatural powers.
In 1974, after supervising Anneliese for some time, Pastor Ernst Alt requested a permit to perform the exorcism from the Bishop of Wurzburg. The request was rejected, and a recommendation soon followed saying that Anneliese should live even more of a religious lifestyle in order to find peace. The attacks did not diminish, and her behavior become more erratic. At her parents' house in Klingenberg, she insulted, beat, and began biting the other members of her family. She refused to eat because the demons would not allow it. Anneliese slept on the stone floor, ate spiders, flies, and coal, and even began drinking her own urine. She could be heard screaming throughout the house for hours while breaking crucifixes, destroying paintings of Jesus, and pulling apart rosaries. Anneliese began committing acts of self-mutilation at this time, and the act of tearing off her clothes and urinating on the floor became common place.
After making an exact verification of the possession in September 1975, the Bishop of Wurzburg, Josef Stangl, assigned Father Arnold Renz and Pastor Ernst Alt with the order to perform "The Great Exorcism" on Anneliese Michel. The basis for this ritual was the "Rituale Romanum", which was still, at the time, a valid Cannon Law from the 17th century. It was determined that Anneliese must be saved from the possession by several demons, including Lucifer, Judas Iscariot, Nero, Cain, Hitler, and Fleischmann, a disgraced Frankish Priest from the 16th century, and some other damned souls which had manifested through her. From September '75 until July '76, one or two exorcism sessions were held each week. Anneliese's attacks were sometimes so strong that she would have to be held down by 3 men, or even chained up. During this time, Anneliese found her life somewhat return to normal as she could again go to school, take final examinations at the Pedagogic Academy in Wurzburg, and go to church.
The attacks, however, did not stop. In fact, she would more often find herself paralyzed and falling unconscious than before. The exorcism continued over many months, always with the same prayers and incantations. Sometimes family members and visitors, like one married couple that claims to have "discovered" Anneliese, would be present during the rituals. For several weeks, Anneliese denied all food. Her knees ruptured due to the 600 genuflections she performed obsessively during the daily exorcism. Over 40 audio tapes record the process, in order to preserve the details.
The last day of the Exorcism Rite was on June 30th, 1976, and Anneliese was suffering at this point from Pneumonia. She was also totally emaciated, and running a high fever. Exhausted and unable to physically perform the genuflections herself, her parents stood in and helped carry her through the motions. "Beg for Absolution" is the last statement Anneliese made to the exorcists. To her mother, she said, "Mother, I'm afraid." Anna Michel recorded the death of her daughter on the following day, July 1st, 1976, and at noon, Pastor Ernst Alt informed the authorities in Aschaffenburg. The senior prosecutor began investigating immediately.
A short time before these final events unfolded, William Friedkin's "The Exorcist" (1974) came to the cinemas in Germany, bringing with it a wave of paranormal hysteria that flooded the nation. Psychiatrists all over Europe reported an increase of obsessive ideas among their patients. Prosecutors took more than 2 years to to take Annaliese's case to court, using that time to sort through the bizarre facts. Anneliese's parents and the two exorcists were accused of negligent homocide. The "Klingenberg Case" would be decided upon two questions: What caused the death of Anneliese Michel, and who was responsible?
According the forensic evidence, "Anneliese starved to death". Specialists claimed that if the accused would have begun with forced feeding one week before her death, Anneliese's life would have been saved. One sister told the court that Anneliese did not want to go to a mental home where she would be sedated and forced to eat. The exorcists tried to prove the presence of the demons, playing taped recordings of strange dialogues like that of two demons arguing about which one of them would have to leave Anneliese's body first. One of the demons called himself Hitler, and spoke with a Frankish accent (Hitler was born in Austria). Not one of those present during the exorcism ever had a doubt about the authenticity of the presence of these demons.
The psychiatrists, whom had been ordered to testify by the court, spoke about the "Doctrinaire Induction". They said that the priests had provided Anneliese with the contents of her psychotic behavior. Consequentially, they claimed, she later accepted her behavior as a form of demonic possession. They also offered that Anneliese's unsettled sexual development, along with her diagnosed Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, had influenced the psychosis.
The verdict was considered by many as not as harsh as they expected. Anneliese's parents, as well as the exorcists, were found guilty of manslaughter resulting from negligence and omitting first aid. They were sentenced to 6 months in jail and probation. The verdict included the opinion of the court that the accused should have helped by taking care of the medical treatment that the girl needed, but instead, their use of naive practices aggravated Anneliese's already poor constitution.
A commission of the German Bishop-Conference later declared that Anneliese Michel was not possessed, however, this did not keep believers from supporting her struggles, and it was because so many believed in her that Anneliese's body did not find peace with death. Her corpse was exhumed eleven and a half years after her burial, only to confirm that it had decayed as would have been expected under normal circumstances. Today, her grave remains a place of pilgrimage for rosary-praying and for those who believe that Anneliese Michel bravely fought the devil.
In 1999, Cardinal Medina Estevez presented journalists in Vatican-City the new version of the "Rituale Romanum" that has been used by the Catholic Church since 1614. The updates came after more than 10 years of editing and is called "De exorcismis et supplicationibus quibusdam" otherwise known as "The exorcism for the upcoming millennium". The Pope approbated the new Exorcism Rite, which is now allowed for worldwide use. This new form of exorcism came after the German Bishop-Conference demanded to ultimately abolish the "Rituale Romun". It also came more than 20 years after Anneliese Michel had died.
Okie, here another thing I found by accident.
http://paranormal.about.com/library/media/audio/russian_exorcism.wma
Hmm, wonder if the recording is of a real event. Any comments?
So anyway, found out the girl who was possessed is actually not called Emily Rose but Anneliese Michel.
Actual story:
From her birth on the 21st of September, 1952, Anneliese Michel enjoyed the life of a normal, religiously nurtured young girl. Without warning, her life changed on a day in 1968 when she began shaking and found she was unable to control her body. She could not call out for her parents, Josef and Anna, or any of her 3 sisters. A neurologist at the Psychiatric Clinic Wurzburg diagnosed her with "Grand Mal" epilepsy. Because of the strength of the epileptic fits, and the severity of the depression that followed, Anneliese was admitted for treatment at the hospital.
Soon after the attacks began, Anneliese started seeing devilish grimaces during her daily praying. It was the fall of 1970, and while the young people of the world were enjoying the liberal freedoms of the time, Anneliese was battling with the belief that she was possessed. It seemed there was no other explanation for the appearance of devilish visions during her prayers. Voices also began following her, saying Anneliese will "stew in hell". She mentioned the "demons" to the doctors only once, explaining that they have started to give her orders. The doctors seem unable to help, and Anneliese lost hope that medicine was going to be able to cure her.
In the summer of 1973, her parents visited different pastors to request an exorcism. Their requests were rejected and they were given recommendations that the now 20 year old Anneliese should continue with medication and treatment. It was explained that the process by which the Church proves a possession (Infestatio) is strictly defined, and until all the criterion is met, a Bishop can not approve an exorcism. The requirements, to name a few, include an aversion to religious objects, speaking in a language the person has never learned, and supernatural powers.
In 1974, after supervising Anneliese for some time, Pastor Ernst Alt requested a permit to perform the exorcism from the Bishop of Wurzburg. The request was rejected, and a recommendation soon followed saying that Anneliese should live even more of a religious lifestyle in order to find peace. The attacks did not diminish, and her behavior become more erratic. At her parents' house in Klingenberg, she insulted, beat, and began biting the other members of her family. She refused to eat because the demons would not allow it. Anneliese slept on the stone floor, ate spiders, flies, and coal, and even began drinking her own urine. She could be heard screaming throughout the house for hours while breaking crucifixes, destroying paintings of Jesus, and pulling apart rosaries. Anneliese began committing acts of self-mutilation at this time, and the act of tearing off her clothes and urinating on the floor became common place.
After making an exact verification of the possession in September 1975, the Bishop of Wurzburg, Josef Stangl, assigned Father Arnold Renz and Pastor Ernst Alt with the order to perform "The Great Exorcism" on Anneliese Michel. The basis for this ritual was the "Rituale Romanum", which was still, at the time, a valid Cannon Law from the 17th century. It was determined that Anneliese must be saved from the possession by several demons, including Lucifer, Judas Iscariot, Nero, Cain, Hitler, and Fleischmann, a disgraced Frankish Priest from the 16th century, and some other damned souls which had manifested through her. From September '75 until July '76, one or two exorcism sessions were held each week. Anneliese's attacks were sometimes so strong that she would have to be held down by 3 men, or even chained up. During this time, Anneliese found her life somewhat return to normal as she could again go to school, take final examinations at the Pedagogic Academy in Wurzburg, and go to church.
The attacks, however, did not stop. In fact, she would more often find herself paralyzed and falling unconscious than before. The exorcism continued over many months, always with the same prayers and incantations. Sometimes family members and visitors, like one married couple that claims to have "discovered" Anneliese, would be present during the rituals. For several weeks, Anneliese denied all food. Her knees ruptured due to the 600 genuflections she performed obsessively during the daily exorcism. Over 40 audio tapes record the process, in order to preserve the details.
The last day of the Exorcism Rite was on June 30th, 1976, and Anneliese was suffering at this point from Pneumonia. She was also totally emaciated, and running a high fever. Exhausted and unable to physically perform the genuflections herself, her parents stood in and helped carry her through the motions. "Beg for Absolution" is the last statement Anneliese made to the exorcists. To her mother, she said, "Mother, I'm afraid." Anna Michel recorded the death of her daughter on the following day, July 1st, 1976, and at noon, Pastor Ernst Alt informed the authorities in Aschaffenburg. The senior prosecutor began investigating immediately.
A short time before these final events unfolded, William Friedkin's "The Exorcist" (1974) came to the cinemas in Germany, bringing with it a wave of paranormal hysteria that flooded the nation. Psychiatrists all over Europe reported an increase of obsessive ideas among their patients. Prosecutors took more than 2 years to to take Annaliese's case to court, using that time to sort through the bizarre facts. Anneliese's parents and the two exorcists were accused of negligent homocide. The "Klingenberg Case" would be decided upon two questions: What caused the death of Anneliese Michel, and who was responsible?
According the forensic evidence, "Anneliese starved to death". Specialists claimed that if the accused would have begun with forced feeding one week before her death, Anneliese's life would have been saved. One sister told the court that Anneliese did not want to go to a mental home where she would be sedated and forced to eat. The exorcists tried to prove the presence of the demons, playing taped recordings of strange dialogues like that of two demons arguing about which one of them would have to leave Anneliese's body first. One of the demons called himself Hitler, and spoke with a Frankish accent (Hitler was born in Austria). Not one of those present during the exorcism ever had a doubt about the authenticity of the presence of these demons.
The psychiatrists, whom had been ordered to testify by the court, spoke about the "Doctrinaire Induction". They said that the priests had provided Anneliese with the contents of her psychotic behavior. Consequentially, they claimed, she later accepted her behavior as a form of demonic possession. They also offered that Anneliese's unsettled sexual development, along with her diagnosed Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, had influenced the psychosis.
The verdict was considered by many as not as harsh as they expected. Anneliese's parents, as well as the exorcists, were found guilty of manslaughter resulting from negligence and omitting first aid. They were sentenced to 6 months in jail and probation. The verdict included the opinion of the court that the accused should have helped by taking care of the medical treatment that the girl needed, but instead, their use of naive practices aggravated Anneliese's already poor constitution.
A commission of the German Bishop-Conference later declared that Anneliese Michel was not possessed, however, this did not keep believers from supporting her struggles, and it was because so many believed in her that Anneliese's body did not find peace with death. Her corpse was exhumed eleven and a half years after her burial, only to confirm that it had decayed as would have been expected under normal circumstances. Today, her grave remains a place of pilgrimage for rosary-praying and for those who believe that Anneliese Michel bravely fought the devil.
In 1999, Cardinal Medina Estevez presented journalists in Vatican-City the new version of the "Rituale Romanum" that has been used by the Catholic Church since 1614. The updates came after more than 10 years of editing and is called "De exorcismis et supplicationibus quibusdam" otherwise known as "The exorcism for the upcoming millennium". The Pope approbated the new Exorcism Rite, which is now allowed for worldwide use. This new form of exorcism came after the German Bishop-Conference demanded to ultimately abolish the "Rituale Romun". It also came more than 20 years after Anneliese Michel had died.
Okie, here another thing I found by accident.
http://paranormal.about.com/library/media/audio/russian_exorcism.wma
Hmm, wonder if the recording is of a real event. Any comments?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Night Duty...
NO MORE NIGHT DUTY!
NO MORE EXTRA CASH!
*miserable*
GOING TO WATCH 'THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE' 9.30pm
NO MORE EXTRA CASH!
*miserable*
GOING TO WATCH 'THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE' 9.30pm
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Feelings All Hay-Wired
Tomorrow would be the countdown of half year more before I step into a new phrase of my life. Not that I am anxious about it but somehow, my mood has been kind of hay-wired. Just suffering from insomnia, bad-mood, easily irritated and keep having a sense of uneasiness that something is not right. I can't also explain why I feel this way.
Anyway, currently I am feeling a bit disappointed that Baku and I wouldn't be celebrating our 5
and a half years anniversary like we always been doing. This year, he is out of job and we are financially saving up for the ROM, thus, no expensive dinner , no bouquet of roses and no presents for each other. But, I know just for the ROM sacrifices must be made... *Sigh*
I would be on night duty from tomorrow night onwards until Sunday. However, I have a gut feeling that I wouldn't be able to do the night duty as Ward 12 is still close. That means, I would not be needed to do my night duty as that would be covered by the permernant night duty staff , Maria Corazon.. No night duty = no night allowances = lesser pay. *Sianz* It has been 2 months already since I last had a night duty. Ward 12 faster open... At least, all staff would get a fair chance of going on rotating night shift.
I am also upset that I can't help my dearest friend in need today. She had some problems with her wound and yet I can't rush over and help her although I really wish to. I just don't know, feel that her family is really poor in playing their respective roles well. Ger, hold on and pray hard that this would be your last operation. Don't wish to see you suffering any longer. I know it is very traumatic and painful process, I understand how you are feeling, being lonely with no one to really care for you, having to help yourself stand firmly on your both feet despite all sufferings and upsetting words + events that has been going on. Be strong!
Finally at least that there is one good news, I managed to find the song I have been looking for... It is called Dragostea Din Tei. Very funny and nice song to let your hair down and start dancing yourself silly to the song...
Anyway, currently I am feeling a bit disappointed that Baku and I wouldn't be celebrating our 5
and a half years anniversary like we always been doing. This year, he is out of job and we are financially saving up for the ROM, thus, no expensive dinner , no bouquet of roses and no presents for each other. But, I know just for the ROM sacrifices must be made... *Sigh*
I would be on night duty from tomorrow night onwards until Sunday. However, I have a gut feeling that I wouldn't be able to do the night duty as Ward 12 is still close. That means, I would not be needed to do my night duty as that would be covered by the permernant night duty staff , Maria Corazon.. No night duty = no night allowances = lesser pay. *Sianz* It has been 2 months already since I last had a night duty. Ward 12 faster open... At least, all staff would get a fair chance of going on rotating night shift.
I am also upset that I can't help my dearest friend in need today. She had some problems with her wound and yet I can't rush over and help her although I really wish to. I just don't know, feel that her family is really poor in playing their respective roles well. Ger, hold on and pray hard that this would be your last operation. Don't wish to see you suffering any longer. I know it is very traumatic and painful process, I understand how you are feeling, being lonely with no one to really care for you, having to help yourself stand firmly on your both feet despite all sufferings and upsetting words + events that has been going on. Be strong!
Finally at least that there is one good news, I managed to find the song I have been looking for... It is called Dragostea Din Tei. Very funny and nice song to let your hair down and start dancing yourself silly to the song...
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Lazy Day At Home
Suppose to work AM shift today, but was given a day off. Supposed to work PM also, but off again. That's good! I totally hate the 'PAP' shift! Anyway, since I got no work, I can spend some quality time with Baku. These days, he work, I rest and when he rest, I work. Been quite a long time since we managed to spend a whole day together lazing around or doing stuff together.
This evening, we went to AMK Jack's Place for dinner then went to peek at my future wedding band. Kind of can't wait to get the wedding band on 18 Nov 2005. Well, I want the ring to be perfect this time, if it ain't good enough, I will sent it back to Belgium for re-alterations until it is perfect and up to standard. (Above is a sneak preview of what the ring is like.)
In another week's time, it is countdown of 6mths before ROM. Don't know why but somehow I feel kind of numb and unfeeling to the ROM already. Like a bit 'sian' of the waiting and feel like it is still a long time to wait. (Envious of my friend who would be ROMing in December.) Baku, also like very passive towards the ROM. He also says still got a long time to go, thus, no use worrying or fretting over the details and wait until the time is nearer, then we shall think about it.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Reading
Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps
Been reading this book halfway, courtesy of Geraldine who lend me her book. This book is quite interesting because it actually has scientific proof on the analysis and explanation on why there are difference between men and women. On why women chat so much until men complains that they are noisy and when men keeps their mouth shut, women would perceive something is wrong. Very funny real life stories too, on how conflicts happen just because of gender differences.
Anyway, I hope this book would help improve my understand towards Baku and help us to prevent future misunderstandings. I know he wouldn't be reading this book, so I have got to be the one explaining the book to him...
I recommend couples, young and old, married and attached to read this book. Singles can also read to help them in their future relationship. It can also help improve working life as in working life we deal with the two sexes too...
Been reading this book halfway, courtesy of Geraldine who lend me her book. This book is quite interesting because it actually has scientific proof on the analysis and explanation on why there are difference between men and women. On why women chat so much until men complains that they are noisy and when men keeps their mouth shut, women would perceive something is wrong. Very funny real life stories too, on how conflicts happen just because of gender differences.
Anyway, I hope this book would help improve my understand towards Baku and help us to prevent future misunderstandings. I know he wouldn't be reading this book, so I have got to be the one explaining the book to him...
I recommend couples, young and old, married and attached to read this book. Singles can also read to help them in their future relationship. It can also help improve working life as in working life we deal with the two sexes too...
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Frustrations Of Life
Been very unhappy and frustrated these days, especially today at work. Damn't pissed off my colleague. I shan't say her name, so let's just her 'X'.
Today, as usual AM shift is the most hectic and busiest shift of the three shifts that nurses work with serving of I/V medications, oral medications, doctor's rounds, bed sponging, assisted baths, wound dressings and 'changes' in doctor's orders. But today, X's patient passed away. Thus, there were more stuff to do like last offices, monitoring the ECG until a straight line is obtained and death procedures to follow.
(Anyway, 'X' has a history of mental breakdown due to stress.)
I am not sure if 'X' is slow at work or is it that she is unable to cope with the busy AM shift. All I know that she was still serving her medications by 8.30am when I have already long finished mine, brought a patient to assisted bath, bed sponged another patient and did a wound dressing for my patient. (Thank God that at least Kyreen was around to handle the first half of the death process whereby the patient's SpO2 was dropping with the heart rate.)
Yeah, so the patient passed away peacefully at 8.50am and she was still doing other stuff. I seriously didn't know what she was busy with but just decided to help her to the best I can while juggling my own stuff to be done. I think, most nurses would know how busy a nurse can be during the AM shift. So I was busy helping 'X' and handling my report writing, changing wound dressing, labeling forms for specimen taking and I also had an A&E admission. Thus, I missed my breakfast break and lunch break. I still see 'X' so busy and I pitied her. So, when she passed me the medicine keys and ran off without uttering a word to do her stuff. I thought that she was still unable to finish her stuff as the table was still cluttered with her files. I told myself no matter how hungry I am, I must still hang around and help her in whatever I can...
Finally, I got very thirsty and wanted to grab a drink. Walked into the tea-room and guess what?! There 'X' was happily eating and chit chatting! That was my last straw! Here I am hungry until got gastric reflux and there she was eating away... Really cannot take it. Wanted to blow my top at her but stopped myself as I didn't want to create a scene especially when my NM was there with the ward clerk. Afterall, 'X' did suffer from a mental breakdown few week ago and took long leave to unwind herself.
However, I was still boiling mad at her to not even informing me that she was going for break and leaving me to handle all her shit! I am not gonna help her ever again. I feel so silly for helping her when I could have just ignored and go for my own break, do my stuff at my own pace, relax after finishing my things and just watch her being helplessly busy.
Another thing that made me upset, my ear got infected after the ear piercing because the person who did the ear piercing didn't do it properly. Thus, my ear has no more ear piercing already. No more pretty... *sigh* Nevermind, I will just live with it. I don't want to pierce anymore... After all the pain and efforts I put in to prevent infection but end up still infected due the person who pierced it fault.
Okie, I shall end the blog here. Think I have been such a nag... Oh yeah...
To Geraldine:
Take care and rest well. I will wait for you to recover. You still owe my numerous long bus rides to unknown destinations, ice skating, making pewter bowl, visiting the CCK farm and going out for cool food. You also still have to hear my tonnes of complains of Jeff, attend my ROM, attend my wedding, listen to my crap and be a critic of life with me, okie? Haha...
Today, as usual AM shift is the most hectic and busiest shift of the three shifts that nurses work with serving of I/V medications, oral medications, doctor's rounds, bed sponging, assisted baths, wound dressings and 'changes' in doctor's orders. But today, X's patient passed away. Thus, there were more stuff to do like last offices, monitoring the ECG until a straight line is obtained and death procedures to follow.
(Anyway, 'X' has a history of mental breakdown due to stress.)
I am not sure if 'X' is slow at work or is it that she is unable to cope with the busy AM shift. All I know that she was still serving her medications by 8.30am when I have already long finished mine, brought a patient to assisted bath, bed sponged another patient and did a wound dressing for my patient. (Thank God that at least Kyreen was around to handle the first half of the death process whereby the patient's SpO2 was dropping with the heart rate.)
Yeah, so the patient passed away peacefully at 8.50am and she was still doing other stuff. I seriously didn't know what she was busy with but just decided to help her to the best I can while juggling my own stuff to be done. I think, most nurses would know how busy a nurse can be during the AM shift. So I was busy helping 'X' and handling my report writing, changing wound dressing, labeling forms for specimen taking and I also had an A&E admission. Thus, I missed my breakfast break and lunch break. I still see 'X' so busy and I pitied her. So, when she passed me the medicine keys and ran off without uttering a word to do her stuff. I thought that she was still unable to finish her stuff as the table was still cluttered with her files. I told myself no matter how hungry I am, I must still hang around and help her in whatever I can...
Finally, I got very thirsty and wanted to grab a drink. Walked into the tea-room and guess what?! There 'X' was happily eating and chit chatting! That was my last straw! Here I am hungry until got gastric reflux and there she was eating away... Really cannot take it. Wanted to blow my top at her but stopped myself as I didn't want to create a scene especially when my NM was there with the ward clerk. Afterall, 'X' did suffer from a mental breakdown few week ago and took long leave to unwind herself.
However, I was still boiling mad at her to not even informing me that she was going for break and leaving me to handle all her shit! I am not gonna help her ever again. I feel so silly for helping her when I could have just ignored and go for my own break, do my stuff at my own pace, relax after finishing my things and just watch her being helplessly busy.
Another thing that made me upset, my ear got infected after the ear piercing because the person who did the ear piercing didn't do it properly. Thus, my ear has no more ear piercing already. No more pretty... *sigh* Nevermind, I will just live with it. I don't want to pierce anymore... After all the pain and efforts I put in to prevent infection but end up still infected due the person who pierced it fault.
Okie, I shall end the blog here. Think I have been such a nag... Oh yeah...
To Geraldine:
Take care and rest well. I will wait for you to recover. You still owe my numerous long bus rides to unknown destinations, ice skating, making pewter bowl, visiting the CCK farm and going out for cool food. You also still have to hear my tonnes of complains of Jeff, attend my ROM, attend my wedding, listen to my crap and be a critic of life with me, okie? Haha...
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Ear Pierced Once More
I did a crazy and wacky thing yesterday... I finally decided to re-pierce one more ear hole! I guess, I am still the same, old havoc person even though I am going to be stepping into a new phrase of life soon.
Yeah, sure, I was afraid of the risk of damaging my nerve and losing my hearing due to nerve damage or even losing the sense of touch. I was also a bit apprehensive of the pain. I heard that higher area of the ear being pierced, the more painful it will get. However, after much considerations, I still made the decision to get it pierced...
Got pierced at Junction 8 for $6. The pain was like ouch for a second and then ear redness for the next few hours, then a nagging, dull feeling for the rest of the day. Now, it is still the same feeling except when the alcohol is being applied and I have to turn the ear stud. Shiok! Lolx, I do sound sadistic, eh?
Wish me all the best that it wouldn't get infected, otherwise, it will spell TROUBLE...
Yeah, sure, I was afraid of the risk of damaging my nerve and losing my hearing due to nerve damage or even losing the sense of touch. I was also a bit apprehensive of the pain. I heard that higher area of the ear being pierced, the more painful it will get. However, after much considerations, I still made the decision to get it pierced...
Got pierced at Junction 8 for $6. The pain was like ouch for a second and then ear redness for the next few hours, then a nagging, dull feeling for the rest of the day. Now, it is still the same feeling except when the alcohol is being applied and I have to turn the ear stud. Shiok! Lolx, I do sound sadistic, eh?
Wish me all the best that it wouldn't get infected, otherwise, it will spell TROUBLE...
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Air Is Cleared
Ok, I am finally gonna clarify stuff...
1) I am getting ROM soon to the guy that I love.
2) The guy I am marrying is not a substitute for anyone in the past.
3) The ROM is not because I want to take revenge or to hurt anyone or to make anyone jealous or to spite anyone.
4) I truly love the guy I am marrying and willing to spend the rest of my life with him.
5) I am moving on into a new phrase of my life because I feel I am ready to the wife of the guy I love.
Lastly, I need to say to those of like to gossip: Ivan and I are just friends. Mutual friends. Please don't go around saying that maybe he has feelings for me or that he still likes me 'cause he doesn't. The relationship, I had with him will and always be a past, never a present nor ever in the future.
Good, now that I have voiced out and cleared the mess... I am glad to go on to continue with the ROM preparations. It is going to be tough and tedious but all is worth it because I am going to ROM once and for all (besides the traditional wedding part which would also be another headache). The ROM is still so far away... Can time just fly a bit faster?? Please?
1) I am getting ROM soon to the guy that I love.
2) The guy I am marrying is not a substitute for anyone in the past.
3) The ROM is not because I want to take revenge or to hurt anyone or to make anyone jealous or to spite anyone.
4) I truly love the guy I am marrying and willing to spend the rest of my life with him.
5) I am moving on into a new phrase of my life because I feel I am ready to the wife of the guy I love.
Lastly, I need to say to those of like to gossip: Ivan and I are just friends. Mutual friends. Please don't go around saying that maybe he has feelings for me or that he still likes me 'cause he doesn't. The relationship, I had with him will and always be a past, never a present nor ever in the future.
Good, now that I have voiced out and cleared the mess... I am glad to go on to continue with the ROM preparations. It is going to be tough and tedious but all is worth it because I am going to ROM once and for all (besides the traditional wedding part which would also be another headache). The ROM is still so far away... Can time just fly a bit faster?? Please?
Sunday, October 16, 2005
ROMing
ROM is just 7 months away...
Still left with the invitations, buffet, venue to have the buffet to decide on. I just hope that everything would be turn out smoothly on that day. I pray that we would get the date we have been hoping for. Lots of worrying stuff but I guess as the time comes nearer, one by one the list of things to accomplish for the ROM would be settled.
PS: Baku, even 'he' turns up for the ROM, I hope you won't be jealous. 'He' is just a close friend to me. Guess not many people would understand why I invited him but I believe I made the right decision to invite him to the ROM celebrations. But trust me, I will still ROM with you and spend the rest of my life with you, ok? I would be willing to go through thick and thin with you even if it means, no more air con every night or sleeping a mattress instead of a queen sized bed or even staying in a one-room flat with you. (Anyway, I doubt you would read this blog. Thus, I am just typing it to ventilate whatever I have never dared to say to you because I am not a very vocal person especially when it comes to mushy words.) Love you always...
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Love Verses
It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting. ~ by Todd Ruthman ~My heart to you is given: Oh, do give yours to me; We'll lock them up together, And throw away the key. ~ by Frederick Saunders ~
The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life. ~ by Sir Hugh Walpole ~
Love knows no reasons, love knows no lies. Love defies all reasons, love has no eyes. But love is not blind, love sees but doesn't mind. ~ by Author unknown ~
Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost, sometimes unrecognized, but in the end, always found with no regrets, forever valued and kept treasured. ~ by Unknown ~
True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart. ~ Honore de Balzac~
Love me without fear Trust me without questioning Need me without demanding Want me without restrictions Accept me without change Desire me without inhibitions For a love so free.... Will never fly away. ~ by Dick Sutphen ~
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, Often hot and fierce, But still only light and flickering. As love grows older, Our hearts mature And our love becomes as coals, Deep-burning and unquenchable. ~ by Bruce Lee ~
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Little Wedding Test
I really wonder how many guys would actually be able to pass this test of love and faithfulness??
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day the little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day the little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Why?
-Dreamt of him again last night.
-It is not that I dream of him every night but once in a while I would dream of him.
-It is weird... Why do I dream of him and not the guy I love? Why does he matter so much to me when I don't love him at all?
-It is all so weird and not making any sense.
-Am I normal?
-I know I shouldn't even be bothering about his well-being and stuff but I still do.
-Perhaps as a friend...
-If Dear knows, I hope he won't scold me or say anything to affect our future plans.
-It is not a sin but I hope Dear would understand that I don't mean to dream of him.
-Yet, I feel guilty for dreaming of him.
-Just guilty and puzzled...
-It is not that I dream of him every night but once in a while I would dream of him.
-It is weird... Why do I dream of him and not the guy I love? Why does he matter so much to me when I don't love him at all?
-It is all so weird and not making any sense.
-Am I normal?
-I know I shouldn't even be bothering about his well-being and stuff but I still do.
-Perhaps as a friend...
-If Dear knows, I hope he won't scold me or say anything to affect our future plans.
-It is not a sin but I hope Dear would understand that I don't mean to dream of him.
-Yet, I feel guilty for dreaming of him.
-Just guilty and puzzled...
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Money Or Health
Which is more important? Money or Health? Well... was facing with this question for the past few days... since Monday night when I started having dysmenorrhagia (bad menstrual cramps) and menorrhagia (heavy menses). I was considering between losing $60 per day for MC or going to work and have the possibility of unable to function properly as I was slightly giddy. The cramping pain was still bearable...
I was like soaking a overnight pad and changing it every 2 hours. Then, when I go pass urine, the blood will just gush out even before I can sit on the toilet seat. Very scary and gross! First time that I am experiencing menorrhagia. Dysmenorrhagia is common for me as I have already been having it way before my cystectomy and had a short break from it post operatively, now it is back to haunt me.
Anyway, I went to see the GP on Tuesday and he told me that it is normal to get heavy flow of menses this time as I had already missed it for 3 months. He just gave me Synflex to relief the pain and told me to rest at home.
Wednesday is my rest day and I stayed home changing pad every 2 hours and grumbling to Dear about the heavy menses and how I wish I could just remove my womb or use a curette and scrape away the endometrial lining a.s.a.p to shorten the menses period once and for all. I was like practically dripping blood on the floor when I want to change the pad. So my actions had to be fast... By late afternoon, Dear said I looked very pale and gave me a cup of milo to drink. Felt slightly better and napped.
After dinner, I still felt a bit giddy and pain... Decided to see back the same GP to say that the Synflex is useless and that my menses is a lot. This time, the GP was a female doctor, she also said I looked pale and gave me Arcoxia, Codeine Phosphate and Sangobion. One day MC again for Thursday.
Somehow, I know that my NM will sure lecture me or even send to the ADN for counselling or perhaps my PPA would be bad and I won't get my bonus. But, I guess health is more important right? What if I go to work and happen to faint while attending to patient or what if I really too painful to work? Doubt that anyone would understand. My colleagues may also think I 'chao keng' MC... Really don't know...
Miserable. $120 fly away from my next month's pay...
I was like soaking a overnight pad and changing it every 2 hours. Then, when I go pass urine, the blood will just gush out even before I can sit on the toilet seat. Very scary and gross! First time that I am experiencing menorrhagia. Dysmenorrhagia is common for me as I have already been having it way before my cystectomy and had a short break from it post operatively, now it is back to haunt me.
Anyway, I went to see the GP on Tuesday and he told me that it is normal to get heavy flow of menses this time as I had already missed it for 3 months. He just gave me Synflex to relief the pain and told me to rest at home.
Wednesday is my rest day and I stayed home changing pad every 2 hours and grumbling to Dear about the heavy menses and how I wish I could just remove my womb or use a curette and scrape away the endometrial lining a.s.a.p to shorten the menses period once and for all. I was like practically dripping blood on the floor when I want to change the pad. So my actions had to be fast... By late afternoon, Dear said I looked very pale and gave me a cup of milo to drink. Felt slightly better and napped.
After dinner, I still felt a bit giddy and pain... Decided to see back the same GP to say that the Synflex is useless and that my menses is a lot. This time, the GP was a female doctor, she also said I looked pale and gave me Arcoxia, Codeine Phosphate and Sangobion. One day MC again for Thursday.
Somehow, I know that my NM will sure lecture me or even send to the ADN for counselling or perhaps my PPA would be bad and I won't get my bonus. But, I guess health is more important right? What if I go to work and happen to faint while attending to patient or what if I really too painful to work? Doubt that anyone would understand. My colleagues may also think I 'chao keng' MC... Really don't know...
Miserable. $120 fly away from my next month's pay...
Monday, October 03, 2005
Bought The Wedding Band
Was on morning shift today and tomorrow also but somehow, don't know why after today's morning shift, I was so alert and energetic. Thus, I went to Jurong East to find Dear, who was having his interview there.
Met up with him at around 4.15pm and realized that my long awaited 'Big Aunt' came, which was a blessing because I had missed it for 3 months already due to ovarian cyst. I thought I was doomed when the doctor gave me hormonal pills to help it to come but so long still not here. But, now it has finally it visited me.
Anyway, since I was so energetic, Dear and me decided to start hunting for our wedding bands. Hence, we took an MRT down to Bishan to see Kizoku from Lee Hwa, the wedding bands we have been aiming for months. As usual, it didn't looked too good on me anymore. Quite disappointed. Looked around to Goldheart and Soo Kee also nothing great or nice. Decided to eat at Din Tai Fung for dinner, had 'shui long bao' and beef noodles. Yummy!
Then, we proceeded down to Toa Payoh to have a look at Citigems and SK jewellery. Yes! The Momento True Love Wedding Band series is out!!! However, there were many faults with it, ranging from the diamonds being not symmetrical and the line of the diamond is not parallel. The salesgirl was very persist that we get there pair but she will be willing to send the ring for alteration. Got kind of pissed with her when she suggested to take out my engagement ring to try on the wedding band again. However, guess what?! She wore my engagement ring!!!!! Yeah, happily wearing it for the next 15-20mins while I was still scrunitising the Momento ring. Ok, that's it! I decided to go down to Ang Mo Kio to get the ring from the Ang Mo Kio branch instead, didn't like her attitude and rudeness of wearing my engagement ring... Mind you, MY ENGAGEMENT RING, OK? Of course, not happy lah!
Reached the Ang Mo Kio branch and met the guy who sold me my H & A ring (refer Dec 2004 blog entry). He is a reliable salesman whom I can trust, so after clearing all my doubts and trying on the ring which obviously doesn't fit me, Dear and I made our final decision. The Momento Wedding Band is ours and we are getting it from him. Dear paid for the wedding bands. (Of course, his job mah!)
We would be getting the ring in 6 weeks time and if there are furthur problems we would be sending the rings back for alterations until it is perfect. It has to be perfect, like our wedding life, it has to be perfect despite any arguments or bickering. Right?
Met up with him at around 4.15pm and realized that my long awaited 'Big Aunt' came, which was a blessing because I had missed it for 3 months already due to ovarian cyst. I thought I was doomed when the doctor gave me hormonal pills to help it to come but so long still not here. But, now it has finally it visited me.
Anyway, since I was so energetic, Dear and me decided to start hunting for our wedding bands. Hence, we took an MRT down to Bishan to see Kizoku from Lee Hwa, the wedding bands we have been aiming for months. As usual, it didn't looked too good on me anymore. Quite disappointed. Looked around to Goldheart and Soo Kee also nothing great or nice. Decided to eat at Din Tai Fung for dinner, had 'shui long bao' and beef noodles. Yummy!
Then, we proceeded down to Toa Payoh to have a look at Citigems and SK jewellery. Yes! The Momento True Love Wedding Band series is out!!! However, there were many faults with it, ranging from the diamonds being not symmetrical and the line of the diamond is not parallel. The salesgirl was very persist that we get there pair but she will be willing to send the ring for alteration. Got kind of pissed with her when she suggested to take out my engagement ring to try on the wedding band again. However, guess what?! She wore my engagement ring!!!!! Yeah, happily wearing it for the next 15-20mins while I was still scrunitising the Momento ring. Ok, that's it! I decided to go down to Ang Mo Kio to get the ring from the Ang Mo Kio branch instead, didn't like her attitude and rudeness of wearing my engagement ring... Mind you, MY ENGAGEMENT RING, OK? Of course, not happy lah!
Reached the Ang Mo Kio branch and met the guy who sold me my H & A ring (refer Dec 2004 blog entry). He is a reliable salesman whom I can trust, so after clearing all my doubts and trying on the ring which obviously doesn't fit me, Dear and I made our final decision. The Momento Wedding Band is ours and we are getting it from him. Dear paid for the wedding bands. (Of course, his job mah!)
We would be getting the ring in 6 weeks time and if there are furthur problems we would be sending the rings back for alterations until it is perfect. It has to be perfect, like our wedding life, it has to be perfect despite any arguments or bickering. Right?
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Childrens' Day
It is Children's Day today. Ha, too bad I am not a kid anymore, however, I managed to sort of celebrate it.
My HCA (Health Care Attendant), Auntie Oyah, bought two pizzas from Pizza Hut for the nurses of the AM shift. The nurses were also unsure what was the occasion so we just created an occasion for it. Children's Day.
Anyway, I am sick. What to do, 3 days of consecutive AM duty... Of course fall ill is expected. Ha, I am so weak and without proper sleep sure fall ill one. *Sigh*
Oh yeah, these few days my temper has been very bad and my poor Dear has been tolerating my nonsense again. I know he is everyday trying his best not to provoke me, maybe I have been too sensitive and always finding fault with him. Dunno...
By the way, it is also today that a House Officer said I am cute, but he is hopeful that I will not be his SN because he bore a grudge that I 'suan' him when he was still a student doctor. Very funny. At first, I thought he was joking but after he explained to me what happened one year ago when I was in Ward 55A then did I realized that maybe I did 'suan' him. Lol, but I forgot! Typical me anyway, always very forgetful...
My HCA (Health Care Attendant), Auntie Oyah, bought two pizzas from Pizza Hut for the nurses of the AM shift. The nurses were also unsure what was the occasion so we just created an occasion for it. Children's Day.
Anyway, I am sick. What to do, 3 days of consecutive AM duty... Of course fall ill is expected. Ha, I am so weak and without proper sleep sure fall ill one. *Sigh*
Oh yeah, these few days my temper has been very bad and my poor Dear has been tolerating my nonsense again. I know he is everyday trying his best not to provoke me, maybe I have been too sensitive and always finding fault with him. Dunno...
By the way, it is also today that a House Officer said I am cute, but he is hopeful that I will not be his SN because he bore a grudge that I 'suan' him when he was still a student doctor. Very funny. At first, I thought he was joking but after he explained to me what happened one year ago when I was in Ward 55A then did I realized that maybe I did 'suan' him. Lol, but I forgot! Typical me anyway, always very forgetful...
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Numb
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
[Chorus]I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I knowI may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
[Chorus]I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
[Chorus]I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I knowI may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
[Chorus]I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
My ROM Dress
Today, I have finally found my ROM gown!!!
I went out with Geraldine today. Started the day by meeting her at Jurong East MRT. We headed to IMM and (wow!) IMM has changed from how I actually expected it to be like. IMM is like re-vamped from the one that I know 5 years back... Anyway, we wanted to go to IMM because there used to a level of bridal boutique, yes, one whole level of them. But now, it has been reduced to a mere 4 shops left. So pathetic!
Thus, we headed to Royal Selangor at Clarke Quay to see how pewter items were made. At first, I was unwilling to enter as I thought the shop was meant for those tai tais to shop and enter. However, since Geraldine was so eager and she is hardly eager to go somewhere. (Normally, she either has no idea where to go or she would be just go where I suggest). Hence, I knew this shop has to be good. Yes, this shop is impressive! We went on a $2 tour to show the history of how making of items out of pewter started, the items that was made from pewter and even had hands on trial to see how pewter cups were made just by hitting against a plain pewter cup many straight lines. As a souvenir for the tour, we were given a pewter coin each which costs $5 each. The next time I go there, I would very much like to try the workshop they have which involves making a pewter with my own hands. Anyone want to volunteer to go with me? Cost $30 per person.
After visiting the Royal Selangor, we were clueless of where to head to next, so we anyhow took a bus and landed up in Orchard, where we shopped for my ROM dress... So walked from Lido to Tangs and got stuck for a while as it was raining heavily. Then, we proceeded to Paragon where I found my ROM gown. However, I wasn't convinced that it was the best, so we proceeded to Takashimaya, which was closed for their D & D. Next stop was Daniel Yan at Wisma Atria. In the end, the one at Paragon was my final choice. The ones at Daniel Yan were nice but my bust too big, cannot fit. Hence, we headed back to Paragon to purchase the gown. It was on 20% discount, so it was cheaper than I thought.
After the dinner at Swensens, we walked down to Plaza Singapura where Geraldine bought her pocket saxophone. I had to plead with the store guy and the cashier to let her purchase the saxophone because by the time we arrived at the store, it was 5 mins past their closing time. Successful.
In conclusion, by the end of the day, I got what I wanted and she got what she wanted. Isn't that nice?
I went out with Geraldine today. Started the day by meeting her at Jurong East MRT. We headed to IMM and (wow!) IMM has changed from how I actually expected it to be like. IMM is like re-vamped from the one that I know 5 years back... Anyway, we wanted to go to IMM because there used to a level of bridal boutique, yes, one whole level of them. But now, it has been reduced to a mere 4 shops left. So pathetic!
Thus, we headed to Royal Selangor at Clarke Quay to see how pewter items were made. At first, I was unwilling to enter as I thought the shop was meant for those tai tais to shop and enter. However, since Geraldine was so eager and she is hardly eager to go somewhere. (Normally, she either has no idea where to go or she would be just go where I suggest). Hence, I knew this shop has to be good. Yes, this shop is impressive! We went on a $2 tour to show the history of how making of items out of pewter started, the items that was made from pewter and even had hands on trial to see how pewter cups were made just by hitting against a plain pewter cup many straight lines. As a souvenir for the tour, we were given a pewter coin each which costs $5 each. The next time I go there, I would very much like to try the workshop they have which involves making a pewter with my own hands. Anyone want to volunteer to go with me? Cost $30 per person.
After visiting the Royal Selangor, we were clueless of where to head to next, so we anyhow took a bus and landed up in Orchard, where we shopped for my ROM dress... So walked from Lido to Tangs and got stuck for a while as it was raining heavily. Then, we proceeded to Paragon where I found my ROM gown. However, I wasn't convinced that it was the best, so we proceeded to Takashimaya, which was closed for their D & D. Next stop was Daniel Yan at Wisma Atria. In the end, the one at Paragon was my final choice. The ones at Daniel Yan were nice but my bust too big, cannot fit. Hence, we headed back to Paragon to purchase the gown. It was on 20% discount, so it was cheaper than I thought.
After the dinner at Swensens, we walked down to Plaza Singapura where Geraldine bought her pocket saxophone. I had to plead with the store guy and the cashier to let her purchase the saxophone because by the time we arrived at the store, it was 5 mins past their closing time. Successful.
In conclusion, by the end of the day, I got what I wanted and she got what she wanted. Isn't that nice?
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Winnie The Pooh Re-vitalized
I just woke up from my sleep. Did my ND last night. Tonight one more night and I can have 3 days rest.
Poor Geraldine, did ND with me too but not at SGH, she was at East Coast Park being the chef for a night for some rich R.O.Med couple and their guests. Spoke to her over the phone a few times and she sounded very tired. Guess she ain't used to the night shift that why. When I did my first round of night as a junior staff nurse, I was also very tired, especially by 3am or 4am. But now, it is much better. At least I can survive until 5am or 6am...
Hmm, it is funny how some people can be so rich to book a row of chalet for their R.O.M celebration, hire a Sushi chef and hire chef to do the entire BBQ-ing of food, the whole night and even breakfast. Then, have their actual wedding on a cruise. So envious! I have always wanted a cruise wedding but I know that is kind of impossible as Jeff and I are not that wealthy to afford it. Think that I would be happy and contented with a decent hotel wedding reception as dinner and probably buffet for the post ROM celebration.
By the way, my Winnie The Pooh balloon has been re-vitalized. Long story on how I got it but anyway, I am happy that it is now back to its original shape and floating around on the ceiling...
Poor Geraldine, did ND with me too but not at SGH, she was at East Coast Park being the chef for a night for some rich R.O.Med couple and their guests. Spoke to her over the phone a few times and she sounded very tired. Guess she ain't used to the night shift that why. When I did my first round of night as a junior staff nurse, I was also very tired, especially by 3am or 4am. But now, it is much better. At least I can survive until 5am or 6am...
Hmm, it is funny how some people can be so rich to book a row of chalet for their R.O.M celebration, hire a Sushi chef and hire chef to do the entire BBQ-ing of food, the whole night and even breakfast. Then, have their actual wedding on a cruise. So envious! I have always wanted a cruise wedding but I know that is kind of impossible as Jeff and I are not that wealthy to afford it. Think that I would be happy and contented with a decent hotel wedding reception as dinner and probably buffet for the post ROM celebration.
By the way, my Winnie The Pooh balloon has been re-vitalized. Long story on how I got it but anyway, I am happy that it is now back to its original shape and floating around on the ceiling...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Scary Day
Today, I felt I have done pretty meaningful and scary. I am not a counselor, have not gone through the counseling course like my dear, totally never tried being a counselor but yet could actually bring a close friend out of her extreme depression.
10am: I messaged her to see her online as I had always been doing every day since I was on HL and bored at home. So I spend my time chatting away with her and I truly enjoy every moment online, offline and face to face with her.
10.45am: Got her call that she was depressed and at Yishun Park. She sounded very upset and I had sort of guessed the reason for her sadness. I also know she has the potential to do something silly and I don't want to lose a close friend like her. Thus, I quickly changed and rushed out of the house of the house.
11.10pm: I reached her house instead to see her being slightly cheerful. Felt relieved. Played the piano and embarrassed myself. The pieces she played was totally nice and beautiful. She has already completed her Grade 8... Envious!
11.45pm: Suddenly, she turned depressed again. That was when she started tearing and telling me why she was guilty of her ex boyfriend's death. She even verbalized that she was being playful and wanted him to have a taste of what it is like waiting for someone but that was one of her greatest mistake as her boyfriend got knocked down by a lorry in the end and she even witnessed the event as she was hiding away from the scene.
12.30pm: She finally confessed to overdosing herself with Valium and Codeine. I shan't say the amount but all I can say the amount is a lot, good enough to kill or cause death. She started feeling very giddy and sleepy. Somehow, I was actually very angry with her but I knew it was useless to scold her. So before she fell asleep, I advised her to one day try to counter her fears by facing the place once again. Soon, after mumbling inaudible words, she fell asleep...
2pm: She woke up still giddy but asked me if I could face her fears with her. I agreed. So we left her house and walked to the accident scene. Could sense her fear and uneasiness. I could understand. However, I was not really ready to react if she decided to do anything silly. Thank God she didn't!
2.30pm: Boarded the bus. During the bus ride, she attempted to jump off the bus by trying to open the emergency exit door. Gave me a scare! Luckily, she didn't! But I was really very annoyed at her for still being so rash and think of taking her life as unimportant. In my heart, I was already trying to relieve her of the sadness and yet she want to hurt me by attempting to do something foolish. (Anyway, I was also not in a good mood as I had quarreled with my father yesterday.)
4pm: Ended up at Bukit Merah. She slept nearly throughout the bus journey.
I shall stop here as the rest of day was unremarkable... Nothing drastic happened. I was also glad that I managed to cheer up and divert her sad thoughts. At the same time, I started missing my dear, I just felt thankful that even my previous love life wasn't a success with the other of my ex boyfriends but I managed to get a guy who loves me a lot and treasures me...
Okie, back to reality! Tomorrow is my night duty... Back to work after a week's of rest...
10am: I messaged her to see her online as I had always been doing every day since I was on HL and bored at home. So I spend my time chatting away with her and I truly enjoy every moment online, offline and face to face with her.
10.45am: Got her call that she was depressed and at Yishun Park. She sounded very upset and I had sort of guessed the reason for her sadness. I also know she has the potential to do something silly and I don't want to lose a close friend like her. Thus, I quickly changed and rushed out of the house of the house.
11.10pm: I reached her house instead to see her being slightly cheerful. Felt relieved. Played the piano and embarrassed myself. The pieces she played was totally nice and beautiful. She has already completed her Grade 8... Envious!
11.45pm: Suddenly, she turned depressed again. That was when she started tearing and telling me why she was guilty of her ex boyfriend's death. She even verbalized that she was being playful and wanted him to have a taste of what it is like waiting for someone but that was one of her greatest mistake as her boyfriend got knocked down by a lorry in the end and she even witnessed the event as she was hiding away from the scene.
12.30pm: She finally confessed to overdosing herself with Valium and Codeine. I shan't say the amount but all I can say the amount is a lot, good enough to kill or cause death. She started feeling very giddy and sleepy. Somehow, I was actually very angry with her but I knew it was useless to scold her. So before she fell asleep, I advised her to one day try to counter her fears by facing the place once again. Soon, after mumbling inaudible words, she fell asleep...
2pm: She woke up still giddy but asked me if I could face her fears with her. I agreed. So we left her house and walked to the accident scene. Could sense her fear and uneasiness. I could understand. However, I was not really ready to react if she decided to do anything silly. Thank God she didn't!
2.30pm: Boarded the bus. During the bus ride, she attempted to jump off the bus by trying to open the emergency exit door. Gave me a scare! Luckily, she didn't! But I was really very annoyed at her for still being so rash and think of taking her life as unimportant. In my heart, I was already trying to relieve her of the sadness and yet she want to hurt me by attempting to do something foolish. (Anyway, I was also not in a good mood as I had quarreled with my father yesterday.)
4pm: Ended up at Bukit Merah. She slept nearly throughout the bus journey.
I shall stop here as the rest of day was unremarkable... Nothing drastic happened. I was also glad that I managed to cheer up and divert her sad thoughts. At the same time, I started missing my dear, I just felt thankful that even my previous love life wasn't a success with the other of my ex boyfriends but I managed to get a guy who loves me a lot and treasures me...
Okie, back to reality! Tomorrow is my night duty... Back to work after a week's of rest...
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Vatican Collection
Went to the Vatican Collection with Geraldine today...
Started the day by meeting up with her at City Hall MRT at 2pm. Then, we walked from City Hall to Empress Place. The sun was blazing hot and those who know me well will know I totally can't stand heat especially when I don't intend to sun-tan or be at a beach... Anyway, we walked for nearly 20 mins before reaching the place. The air-con of the place was inviting and gave me a sense of achievement for enduring that 20 mins of sunlight + UV rays.
Actually, this is the second time I am visiting the Vatican Collection but I was still kind of excited because I am bringing someone there.. a close friend whom I could feel free to comment, give lame jokes, talk total crap and she will still listen as well as laugh along with me.
So, yeah, we walked around the exhibits and commented on the artefacts and display pictures until we ended up debating about the Holy Trinity and who is the 'main character' in the Holy Trinity. Came up lots of analogies from coffee, cream and sugar to bubble tea with the sugar syrup and 'pearls'... Anyway, the debate ended when we decided to the just drop the subject for the time-being while we have read up our bible to get the answer.
Continued our journey to Esplanade, walked (yes, under the hot sun again) back to Esplanade, went to the library to find her cook book to no avail. *Sigh* She must be so disappointed again... By the way, I saw few R.O.M-ed couples and was kind of envious of their happy day 'cause my is still so far away. Seeing their blissful look of fresh marriage happiness just made me even more anxious for my turn to come... Wonder if Jeff and I would have the same smile of contentment and happiness on our R.O.M day??
Ate Oxtail Stew at Suntec and walked around for a while before deciding to head home. Suddenly, Geraldine had this excrutiating pain at her operation site, that was when I felt kind of guilty for bringing her so far and making her walk the long distance from our outing. I knew she had this knee problem and yet, I was selfish to make her walk with me just to save money on cab fare. Tried my best to make her feel better but from her facial expression and coldness of her peripheral limbs, I knew she was in great pain... All my fault! I know she may not blame me but I still feel kind of guilty.
Anyway, here I am back home with Jeff. He is asleep now after watch the VCD of 'Young and Dangerous Part 6'. Nice but violent show, that is why it is either NC 16 or M 18... I am also going to sleep soon as my left polycystic ovary is hurting me again and the analgesia makes me kind of drowsy and having cardiac palpitations... Nitez!
Started the day by meeting up with her at City Hall MRT at 2pm. Then, we walked from City Hall to Empress Place. The sun was blazing hot and those who know me well will know I totally can't stand heat especially when I don't intend to sun-tan or be at a beach... Anyway, we walked for nearly 20 mins before reaching the place. The air-con of the place was inviting and gave me a sense of achievement for enduring that 20 mins of sunlight + UV rays.
Actually, this is the second time I am visiting the Vatican Collection but I was still kind of excited because I am bringing someone there.. a close friend whom I could feel free to comment, give lame jokes, talk total crap and she will still listen as well as laugh along with me.
So, yeah, we walked around the exhibits and commented on the artefacts and display pictures until we ended up debating about the Holy Trinity and who is the 'main character' in the Holy Trinity. Came up lots of analogies from coffee, cream and sugar to bubble tea with the sugar syrup and 'pearls'... Anyway, the debate ended when we decided to the just drop the subject for the time-being while we have read up our bible to get the answer.
Continued our journey to Esplanade, walked (yes, under the hot sun again) back to Esplanade, went to the library to find her cook book to no avail. *Sigh* She must be so disappointed again... By the way, I saw few R.O.M-ed couples and was kind of envious of their happy day 'cause my is still so far away. Seeing their blissful look of fresh marriage happiness just made me even more anxious for my turn to come... Wonder if Jeff and I would have the same smile of contentment and happiness on our R.O.M day??
Ate Oxtail Stew at Suntec and walked around for a while before deciding to head home. Suddenly, Geraldine had this excrutiating pain at her operation site, that was when I felt kind of guilty for bringing her so far and making her walk the long distance from our outing. I knew she had this knee problem and yet, I was selfish to make her walk with me just to save money on cab fare. Tried my best to make her feel better but from her facial expression and coldness of her peripheral limbs, I knew she was in great pain... All my fault! I know she may not blame me but I still feel kind of guilty.
Anyway, here I am back home with Jeff. He is asleep now after watch the VCD of 'Young and Dangerous Part 6'. Nice but violent show, that is why it is either NC 16 or M 18... I am also going to sleep soon as my left polycystic ovary is hurting me again and the analgesia makes me kind of drowsy and having cardiac palpitations... Nitez!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Hospitalized Again
I was hospitalized again. This time at KKH for Polycystic Ovary... My pain score as ranging from 4-6. Got admitted at around 4am after I yelled at a doctor for being so unprofessional by
making a stupid remark saying that I don't look like I was in much pain just because and didn't scream or grimace when he pressed onto the spot which I verbalized that was painful.
Anyway, yeah, I was admitted for 3 days and even the consultant didn't know what to do with me as I have already taken all the types of strong analgesia without any effect on me. The ultrasound shows no signs of large ovarian mass. Thus, it is weird that I am feeling this pain and discomfort.
Been given HL until the 21 Sept 2005 and I would be doing my night shift on the the 22 Sept. Need to earn that money... Hospitalization bill would amount up to $3k as I stayed in the 'A' class setting.
One more thing, from this hospitalization I managed to find a nice friend who was willing to spend the whole day with me in the hospital without any obligations. She even blogged down her anxiety for me on her blog. Feel so touched...
True friends are really hard to come by and I really treasure every friendship I have with my close friends... :)
making a stupid remark saying that I don't look like I was in much pain just because and didn't scream or grimace when he pressed onto the spot which I verbalized that was painful.
Anyway, yeah, I was admitted for 3 days and even the consultant didn't know what to do with me as I have already taken all the types of strong analgesia without any effect on me. The ultrasound shows no signs of large ovarian mass. Thus, it is weird that I am feeling this pain and discomfort.
Been given HL until the 21 Sept 2005 and I would be doing my night shift on the the 22 Sept. Need to earn that money... Hospitalization bill would amount up to $3k as I stayed in the 'A' class setting.
One more thing, from this hospitalization I managed to find a nice friend who was willing to spend the whole day with me in the hospital without any obligations. She even blogged down her anxiety for me on her blog. Feel so touched...
True friends are really hard to come by and I really treasure every friendship I have with my close friends... :)
Saturday, September 10, 2005
I Am Engaged...
Today is the 5 Years and 4 Months anniversary... And also a special day.
HE PROPOSED!
Yeah, I am no longer free but attached... I am engaged and I am his fiancee now. In a sense, waited for this day quite long already.
We went to eat at Suntec's Tony Roma, shopped around for the Topaz ring and went home after looking at some wedding gown exhibits. It sounds like I had it coming but I wasn't really prepared for it to be so soon. I was actually expecting it maybe next week or later in the month.
Anyway, he proposed when we came back home, while we were in his room. However, there were not flowers. Thus, I rejected him and that made him run out of the house still in his business suit with slippers.
15mins later, he returned with the bouquet of roses and proposed one more time... I agreed! What more can I ask for? A guy being so 'desperate' to make me his fiancee until he can be bothered to run out of the house and come back panting for his breath. Okie, he passed! I am officially engaged! What more can I say... I am lost for words.
So.. yeah, I am one more step furthur into the R.O.M plan... I feel like on cloud nine still...
HE PROPOSED!
Yeah, I am no longer free but attached... I am engaged and I am his fiancee now. In a sense, waited for this day quite long already.
We went to eat at Suntec's Tony Roma, shopped around for the Topaz ring and went home after looking at some wedding gown exhibits. It sounds like I had it coming but I wasn't really prepared for it to be so soon. I was actually expecting it maybe next week or later in the month.
Anyway, he proposed when we came back home, while we were in his room. However, there were not flowers. Thus, I rejected him and that made him run out of the house still in his business suit with slippers.
15mins later, he returned with the bouquet of roses and proposed one more time... I agreed! What more can I ask for? A guy being so 'desperate' to make me his fiancee until he can be bothered to run out of the house and come back panting for his breath. Okie, he passed! I am officially engaged! What more can I say... I am lost for words.
So.. yeah, I am one more step furthur into the R.O.M plan... I feel like on cloud nine still...
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Finally...
I am finally having 2 days off after working 8 days with 3 consecutive days of morning shift. Sounds easy, right? 3 days of morning shift only... But to me, it was a very tiring and difficult task.
Firstly, I am not a morning person and I normally don't wake up until around 10am. Thus, waking up 5am in the morning is very stressful for me.
Secondly, I usually don't sleep early and even if I do, I can't sleep until around 12mn. That means, I only get 5 hours of sleep per day for the past 3 days.
Lastly, morning shift is always the busiest shift of the day with lots of things to be done.
Anyway, that is all over (for now)! Time to enjoy myself with the 2 days off... Friday spend my day celebrating my cousin's birthday and Saturday celebrating my 5 years and 4 months anniversary with my Dear. He is going to treat me to Tony Roma, a meal I have been waiting for a long time. Actually, he promised to give me a treat with his first pay since May, so now that he has got his pay, he HAS to treat me and keep his promise. LOL.
Okie, need to go out and meet my friend to collect her specialty for Dear's dad. By the way, people if you need a cake for any occasion, just let me know, I will intro you to my friend, she is a great cake baker... Hee hee...
Firstly, I am not a morning person and I normally don't wake up until around 10am. Thus, waking up 5am in the morning is very stressful for me.
Secondly, I usually don't sleep early and even if I do, I can't sleep until around 12mn. That means, I only get 5 hours of sleep per day for the past 3 days.
Lastly, morning shift is always the busiest shift of the day with lots of things to be done.
Anyway, that is all over (for now)! Time to enjoy myself with the 2 days off... Friday spend my day celebrating my cousin's birthday and Saturday celebrating my 5 years and 4 months anniversary with my Dear. He is going to treat me to Tony Roma, a meal I have been waiting for a long time. Actually, he promised to give me a treat with his first pay since May, so now that he has got his pay, he HAS to treat me and keep his promise. LOL.
Okie, need to go out and meet my friend to collect her specialty for Dear's dad. By the way, people if you need a cake for any occasion, just let me know, I will intro you to my friend, she is a great cake baker... Hee hee...
Sunday, September 04, 2005
A Poem...
This is a poem that I found on someone's blog, which I feel that I can relate to. It is not about my BGR but more directed towards my mum. Those close to me will know about it.
I never thought I'd see this day
I never thought I'd feel this way
You...behave like a stranger to me now.
I cannot accept such behaviour...
You...will need some reflection.
I will grow stronger as days goes by.
You...will realize the truth someday.
I hope one day I can forgive you...
If only someone can knock some sense into you.
I am waiting for that very day...
with normal feelings...
with no expectations at all...
cause you...are the cause of everything.
I never thought I'd see this day
I never thought I'd feel this way
You...behave like a stranger to me now.
I cannot accept such behaviour...
You...will need some reflection.
I will grow stronger as days goes by.
You...will realize the truth someday.
I hope one day I can forgive you...
If only someone can knock some sense into you.
I am waiting for that very day...
with normal feelings...
with no expectations at all...
cause you...are the cause of everything.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Modified Untitled
I modified the song 'UNTITLED' by Simple Plan with my own version on how I feel recently...
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white lies
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm sitting here tonight
And I can't stand the heartache
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
They made their mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm my feelings are fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that they have done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
They made their mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
They have made their mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white lies
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm sitting here tonight
And I can't stand the heartache
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
They made their mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm my feelings are fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that they have done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
They made their mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
They have made their mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Weird Humans
8 years ago, when I 14 years old and still a new girl of TPSS, I was being slapped 3 times by a bunch of Ah Lians due to a staring incident. Sounds kind of childish, but I was accused of staring at one of the Lians and they wanted me to 'pay back' for my action. I remember it was Valentines' Day somemore. Hee hee...
8 years later, recently by some coincidence, I managed to find the contacts of one of those girls and she seems very much changed. She looks and seems more mature and have out-grown the Ah Lian behaviour. She is also getting married this coming 11 Sept 2005.
After much thoughts, I decided to be-friend and put the past all behind (anyway, I have already forgiven her long ago). However, the most ironic part is that she is avoiding me totally. Left her a message on Friendster, no reply. Left her a message on MSN, also no reply and instead she immediately logged off. So weird... Not sure if she is avoiding me out of guilt or hatred...
If it is out of guilt, then I think she should know that I have already forgave her and sincerely want to be-friend her if it is possible.
If it is out of hatred, then I guess I might have just over-estimated her maturity level. I mean, shouldn't I be the one who hates her more since she was the one who slapped me and was violent with me over such a trivia matter??
Anyway, that has already happened so long ago and those bunch of girls got their suspension and detention as punishment from the discipline master. Besides, we have all grown up now as well as are now leading our own lives. Thus, I don't see why we can't be platonic friends. I also don't mean any harm.
Weird human beings on earth, don't you agree??
8 years later, recently by some coincidence, I managed to find the contacts of one of those girls and she seems very much changed. She looks and seems more mature and have out-grown the Ah Lian behaviour. She is also getting married this coming 11 Sept 2005.
After much thoughts, I decided to be-friend and put the past all behind (anyway, I have already forgiven her long ago). However, the most ironic part is that she is avoiding me totally. Left her a message on Friendster, no reply. Left her a message on MSN, also no reply and instead she immediately logged off. So weird... Not sure if she is avoiding me out of guilt or hatred...
If it is out of guilt, then I think she should know that I have already forgave her and sincerely want to be-friend her if it is possible.
If it is out of hatred, then I guess I might have just over-estimated her maturity level. I mean, shouldn't I be the one who hates her more since she was the one who slapped me and was violent with me over such a trivia matter??
Anyway, that has already happened so long ago and those bunch of girls got their suspension and detention as punishment from the discipline master. Besides, we have all grown up now as well as are now leading our own lives. Thus, I don't see why we can't be platonic friends. I also don't mean any harm.
Weird human beings on earth, don't you agree??
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
New Hair Cut
I just cut my 'tail' and my fringe yesterday. As you can see my new hairstyle is kind of weird. Hee hee, I am still not very used to it.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Finally Off Night Duty...
Finally... I am resting after 3 continuous days of night shift. Hurray, I have 'earned' myself 3 days of rest too. So I would be only back to work on Wednesday.
Spent the first half of the day sleeping from 9am to 2pm. Then, waited for Dear to come back home after his volunteering befriender stuff with Randy. At around 5pm, we went to Simei to collect my Topaz ring. It is such a pity that I didn't manage to capture a good picture of it, otherwise, I would have uploaded it here. Anyway, it is very nice. Kind of cheap and looks good on my fingers. (By the way, please don't misunderstand that it is my engagement ring, 'cause it is not! He has yet to even done his 'homework' on where and what design to get me. That unromantic fellow!) In the evening, we took a walk to Dear's aunt's place to see her newly bought guinea pig. The guinea pig is very cute and it loves to hide out in dark place. It also makes funny noises when you are stroking its body. I simply fancy all small animals!!! From Chinchillas to Rabbits to Hamsters to Guinea Pigs to Kittens to Puppies... except Mice.
Oh yeah, almost forgot to congratulate someone... Yeah, congrats to Shuzhen and Simon! They had found and bought their wedding bands today from Bugis Junction (Lee Hwa). It is also from the Kizoku series but of a different design from the ones Dear and me wants.
Spent the first half of the day sleeping from 9am to 2pm. Then, waited for Dear to come back home after his volunteering befriender stuff with Randy. At around 5pm, we went to Simei to collect my Topaz ring. It is such a pity that I didn't manage to capture a good picture of it, otherwise, I would have uploaded it here. Anyway, it is very nice. Kind of cheap and looks good on my fingers. (By the way, please don't misunderstand that it is my engagement ring, 'cause it is not! He has yet to even done his 'homework' on where and what design to get me. That unromantic fellow!) In the evening, we took a walk to Dear's aunt's place to see her newly bought guinea pig. The guinea pig is very cute and it loves to hide out in dark place. It also makes funny noises when you are stroking its body. I simply fancy all small animals!!! From Chinchillas to Rabbits to Hamsters to Guinea Pigs to Kittens to Puppies... except Mice.
Oh yeah, almost forgot to congratulate someone... Yeah, congrats to Shuzhen and Simon! They had found and bought their wedding bands today from Bugis Junction (Lee Hwa). It is also from the Kizoku series but of a different design from the ones Dear and me wants.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Lee Hwa Wedding Band
Today, I went out with my friend, Shuzhen, in search of her wedding band. She is one lucky woman who has a very nice and caring fiance. They are going to R.O.M this coming December... Xing Fu Nu Ren...
Anyway, we walked Tampines area and Bugis Junction all afternoon until 8pm. She has found a few designs that she really likes from Soo Kee, Lee Hwa and Tian Poh. I also shopped around with her doing my own survey and guess what?! I decided that the wedding band me and Dear saw at Lee Hwa is still the best for me and him. It is simple yet elegant and the most importantly, it suits our fingers pretty well.
Shuzhen also found the R.O.M dress at Bugis Junction. Therefore, this weekend, she is going to drag her fiance to buy the wedding bands and the dress. Expenses fully paid by him. So sweet of him, right? Keke...
Another thing, I decided that my dear is not yet my fiance, 'cause I am still waiting for his Topaz engagement ring. That means, I am still free and not even engaged at the moment. Lolz, that also means still free to look around for better guys!!! (Just kidding!)
Okie, the ring that me and dear like from Lee Hwa is the one in the picture above. Happy viewing and feel free to give me any comments.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Male Or Female, U Decide...
Choice of a baby BOY or GIRL
Hope it is useful for some of you in planning stage. For those of you do not have any plan in the near future, you can keep it for future reference.
Background:
Man's sperm consists of X & Y spermatozoa, X spermatozoon decides the female whereas Y is the male. Referring to these physiological properties of the spermatozoa, gynecologists set up the theory of 'Choice of a girl or a boy'.
1st factor: Food
If you want a baby girl: Husband must eat more alkaline food, wife eats more acidic food.
If you want a baby boy: Husband eats more acidic food, wife eats more alkaline food.
Alkaline food: vegetables, fruits, egg white, milk, algae, etc.
Acidic food: meat, seafood, etc.
2nd factor: Timing (When to do it?)
If you want a baby girl: Frequent copulation during pre-ovulation period.
If you want a baby boy: Copulating just before ovulation or just after ovulation.
How to confirm ovulation period: Body temperature increases (you may want to use SPC chart to monitor your body temperature here).
3rd factor: Penetration (How to do it?)
If you want a baby girl: Husband to avoid deep penetration in the female vagina during copulation.
If you want a baby boy: Deep penetration by the husband is suggested.
Reasoning: Characteristics of X & Y spermatozoa
X: Marathon runner with good stamina
Y: Sprinter but poor stamina
So, with deep penetration, the chances for Y to reach destination will be higher.
4th factor: Stimulation
If you want a baby girl: Wife should avoid stimulation during copulation. Secretion from female vagina becomes alkaline when stimulated, therefore this promotes the activity of Y spermatozoon.
If you want a baby boy: Husband ejaculates after wife has been stimulated.
5th factor: Wife's Preparation
If you want a baby girl: Rinse the vagina with solution dissolving 2 spoonfuls of white vinegar in 1 liter of water. Since an acidic condition decreases activity of Y spermatozoon.
If you want a baby boy: Rinse the vagina with solution dissolving 2 spoonfuls of soda in 1 liter of water.
6th factor: Positioning
If you want a baby girl: Female to be on the top position & male to be on the bottom position.
If you want a baby boy: Male to be on the top position & female to be on the bottom position. This posture allows the Y spermatozoon to reach the destination faster.
Hope it is useful for some of you in planning stage. For those of you do not have any plan in the near future, you can keep it for future reference.
Background:
Man's sperm consists of X & Y spermatozoa, X spermatozoon decides the female whereas Y is the male. Referring to these physiological properties of the spermatozoa, gynecologists set up the theory of 'Choice of a girl or a boy'.
1st factor: Food
If you want a baby girl: Husband must eat more alkaline food, wife eats more acidic food.
If you want a baby boy: Husband eats more acidic food, wife eats more alkaline food.
Alkaline food: vegetables, fruits, egg white, milk, algae, etc.
Acidic food: meat, seafood, etc.
2nd factor: Timing (When to do it?)
If you want a baby girl: Frequent copulation during pre-ovulation period.
If you want a baby boy: Copulating just before ovulation or just after ovulation.
How to confirm ovulation period: Body temperature increases (you may want to use SPC chart to monitor your body temperature here).
3rd factor: Penetration (How to do it?)
If you want a baby girl: Husband to avoid deep penetration in the female vagina during copulation.
If you want a baby boy: Deep penetration by the husband is suggested.
Reasoning: Characteristics of X & Y spermatozoa
X: Marathon runner with good stamina
Y: Sprinter but poor stamina
So, with deep penetration, the chances for Y to reach destination will be higher.
4th factor: Stimulation
If you want a baby girl: Wife should avoid stimulation during copulation. Secretion from female vagina becomes alkaline when stimulated, therefore this promotes the activity of Y spermatozoon.
If you want a baby boy: Husband ejaculates after wife has been stimulated.
5th factor: Wife's Preparation
If you want a baby girl: Rinse the vagina with solution dissolving 2 spoonfuls of white vinegar in 1 liter of water. Since an acidic condition decreases activity of Y spermatozoon.
If you want a baby boy: Rinse the vagina with solution dissolving 2 spoonfuls of soda in 1 liter of water.
6th factor: Positioning
If you want a baby girl: Female to be on the top position & male to be on the bottom position.
If you want a baby boy: Male to be on the top position & female to be on the bottom position. This posture allows the Y spermatozoon to reach the destination faster.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Countdown to R.O.M
Hurray! 9 months more before I gain a 'MRS' status in my life. Haha, sounds kind like I am desperate, right? Guess so. I am really looking forward to that day although nothing has been prepared yet. Still searching around for the best gown, wedding bands, buffet deals, etc...
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Difficult Times...
Been going through a bit of setbacks and problems these few days. I managed to bottle up all my depressive moods and only a few close people knows what I am going through.
It is kind of painful that something like that should happen to me. Anyway, I expected it to happen one day, sooner or later since it was a problem since I was much younger, even before I lose my innocence to secondary school years. Well, I am a female also, so it would also happen when I get hitched or married. But, somehow, I am having mixed feeling about it. Some part of me feels sad and depressed that it happened so soon, some part of me feels happy that I managed to regain full control of my life for once in my life, some part of me also having that sort of like I am missing a piece of puzzle in my life. Lastly, a part me is enjoying the romance and everything between me and my dear.
However, I guess through this ordeal, if I managed to 'survive' out of it, I would a better off as a person and at least, I can see what the true love of my dear. I also managed to see the true colors of people around me and how I am being treated my his mum. Thank God, I have something good to fall back on. Things could have been worse if I didn't have any backup plans and or anything to fall back on...
I got to learn to cheer up, just take things step by step and plan my future for the best of myself and my dear...
It is kind of painful that something like that should happen to me. Anyway, I expected it to happen one day, sooner or later since it was a problem since I was much younger, even before I lose my innocence to secondary school years. Well, I am a female also, so it would also happen when I get hitched or married. But, somehow, I am having mixed feeling about it. Some part of me feels sad and depressed that it happened so soon, some part of me feels happy that I managed to regain full control of my life for once in my life, some part of me also having that sort of like I am missing a piece of puzzle in my life. Lastly, a part me is enjoying the romance and everything between me and my dear.
However, I guess through this ordeal, if I managed to 'survive' out of it, I would a better off as a person and at least, I can see what the true love of my dear. I also managed to see the true colors of people around me and how I am being treated my his mum. Thank God, I have something good to fall back on. Things could have been worse if I didn't have any backup plans and or anything to fall back on...
I got to learn to cheer up, just take things step by step and plan my future for the best of myself and my dear...
Monday, August 01, 2005
K- Box
I went shopping around Tampines Mall today looking at wedding bands with my dear... (Yes!) I went to see the Infinity wedding band from Soo Kee, the one that I have desired and longed for. I even managed to hold it and 'inspect' it closely hoping to find a flaw in it but NO, it is so perfect, so beautiful, so gorgeous, so elegant and just so nice!!!!
Anyway, we chanced upon one pair of wedding band at Lee Hwa and it is also not bad. More realistic. Cost about $588 each. Decided to put it into our 'Consideration List'.
After shopping around, we ended up in K-box and sung to our heart's content.
However, my mind is still lingering on the Infinity wedding band. It is just my kind of wedding band. The one I have been wanting and so princess-like. Even my dear thinks I am crazy about. Hmmz, anyway, I know it wouldn't belong to me... Too expensive, too unrealistic and I know he wouldn't spend that kind of bucks just to buy me the ring... (Stop day-dreaming but I can't help it)
*Dreaming away in a daze*
Sunday, July 31, 2005
I Want...
Recently, I spotted a very nice wedding band. It is from Soo Kee Jewellery. It is called the Infinity Brilliant Rose Wedding Band, Model Number: IW 024B... It is very nice and I simply love it.
But too bad, it wouldn't be my wedding band although I really like it, 'cause my wedding band can't have diamonds on it. My working condition does not permit me to wear diamond wedding band (even if they allow, I also can't bear to wear it)... I am afraid my ring will get scratched the the diamond would eventually drop out. By then, I will really be heart-ache if the diamond drops out and get lost somewhere...
The price is S$1138 for the one that I like (female version) and S$698 for the male version. However, my dear is keen on buying it. But I don't want him to waste money! I rather that he uses the money to buy the proper wedding band and one that I can wear 24/7.
*sigh* BUT I REALLY LIKE THE RING....
The website to view the ring:
http://www.sookee.com.sg/icatalogue/catalogue.aspx?cat=0507&pg=5&maxpg=16
http://www.sookee.com.sg/news/?indexno=8
But too bad, it wouldn't be my wedding band although I really like it, 'cause my wedding band can't have diamonds on it. My working condition does not permit me to wear diamond wedding band (even if they allow, I also can't bear to wear it)... I am afraid my ring will get scratched the the diamond would eventually drop out. By then, I will really be heart-ache if the diamond drops out and get lost somewhere...
The price is S$1138 for the one that I like (female version) and S$698 for the male version. However, my dear is keen on buying it. But I don't want him to waste money! I rather that he uses the money to buy the proper wedding band and one that I can wear 24/7.
*sigh* BUT I REALLY LIKE THE RING....
The website to view the ring:
http://www.sookee.com.sg/icatalogue/catalogue.aspx?cat=0507&pg=5&maxpg=16
http://www.sookee.com.sg/news/?indexno=8
Friday, July 29, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Feel So Sick...
I am feel so sick for the past few days already. Taken Vitamin C and everything I could to prevent this outbreak of flu but yet it stills come back to me. Feel myself very susceptible to getting flu and tonsillitis.
I still went to work today despite all the body weakness and nauseous feeling. I know the total number of patients are building up and if I take MC, there would be a big problem finding for a SN to take over my work. Just as I guessed, the SN from Ward 12 took MC and I don't blame her. My whole ward has been known to have quite a high number of MCs because all the SNs are suffering from 'burn-out'...
Anyway, there I was trying my best to complete my work, being as efficient as I could to prioritize my work and settling what I need to settle... However, my NM was nagging, patients were pressing the call-bell (esp that stupid RM2 asking for Salon-Pas and being a nuisance), one patients trying to abscond from the ward, one more pestering me to discharge him A.S.A.P because he has another appointment at a private clinic and last but not least one patient constantly asking for his walking-stick when he doesn't even need it urgently.
Can you believe it? I was serving my medications of 19 patients from 7.45am to 9am. Then, I was busy dealing with the I/V medications until around 10am while attending to some nuisance call bells. Then, I was following a patient who is kind of 'conked up' there in his brains who kept insisting of going home without waiting for his daughter who was going to come at 1pm to bring him home. He kept saying he has lost his way to going back to Serangoon and wanted to look for a taxi stand. He even pooped in his pants and refused to have bath or change into a clean clothes. Not to forget, a patient who is a scientist... He wanted to A.O.R (discharge against doctor's advice) and wanted to go to the private clinic for a follow up immediately. My goodness, how chaotic!!!!!
By 12pm, then was I doing all the changes for all the patients, attempting to get some peace and quiet but there has to be endless phone calls, hypocount to be taken, discharging of that conked up patients (yes, finally the daughter came to bring him home), 19 reports to be written and patients' relatives to entertain their multiple enquries of condition of patients.
By 1.30pm, still struggling with report writing...
2pm, passing of unfinished report and 3 out of 14 wound dressing to do (BIG thanks to my juniors, they did a few for me while sponging patients :)...)
Finally, at 4pm I finished my stuff and left the ward!!!
Now at 6pm, I am feeling so tired and more sick... Coughing away, vomited twice because I skipped breakfast and lunch... Sneezing away... Think it is about time I take MC at the expense of other tomorrow. Ought to be selfish... I have already struggled through today and I need plenty of rest. So sianz... Imagine 1 Staff Nurse solely in charge of 19 patients!!!! Thank God I had 2 juniors to help me out, otherwise I will really 'pengz' today.
Can't imagine that I managed to cope today...
Btw:
SN- Staff Nurse
NM- Nurse Manager
I still went to work today despite all the body weakness and nauseous feeling. I know the total number of patients are building up and if I take MC, there would be a big problem finding for a SN to take over my work. Just as I guessed, the SN from Ward 12 took MC and I don't blame her. My whole ward has been known to have quite a high number of MCs because all the SNs are suffering from 'burn-out'...
Anyway, there I was trying my best to complete my work, being as efficient as I could to prioritize my work and settling what I need to settle... However, my NM was nagging, patients were pressing the call-bell (esp that stupid RM2 asking for Salon-Pas and being a nuisance), one patients trying to abscond from the ward, one more pestering me to discharge him A.S.A.P because he has another appointment at a private clinic and last but not least one patient constantly asking for his walking-stick when he doesn't even need it urgently.
Can you believe it? I was serving my medications of 19 patients from 7.45am to 9am. Then, I was busy dealing with the I/V medications until around 10am while attending to some nuisance call bells. Then, I was following a patient who is kind of 'conked up' there in his brains who kept insisting of going home without waiting for his daughter who was going to come at 1pm to bring him home. He kept saying he has lost his way to going back to Serangoon and wanted to look for a taxi stand. He even pooped in his pants and refused to have bath or change into a clean clothes. Not to forget, a patient who is a scientist... He wanted to A.O.R (discharge against doctor's advice) and wanted to go to the private clinic for a follow up immediately. My goodness, how chaotic!!!!!
By 12pm, then was I doing all the changes for all the patients, attempting to get some peace and quiet but there has to be endless phone calls, hypocount to be taken, discharging of that conked up patients (yes, finally the daughter came to bring him home), 19 reports to be written and patients' relatives to entertain their multiple enquries of condition of patients.
By 1.30pm, still struggling with report writing...
2pm, passing of unfinished report and 3 out of 14 wound dressing to do (BIG thanks to my juniors, they did a few for me while sponging patients :)...)
Finally, at 4pm I finished my stuff and left the ward!!!
Now at 6pm, I am feeling so tired and more sick... Coughing away, vomited twice because I skipped breakfast and lunch... Sneezing away... Think it is about time I take MC at the expense of other tomorrow. Ought to be selfish... I have already struggled through today and I need plenty of rest. So sianz... Imagine 1 Staff Nurse solely in charge of 19 patients!!!! Thank God I had 2 juniors to help me out, otherwise I will really 'pengz' today.
Can't imagine that I managed to cope today...
Btw:
SN- Staff Nurse
NM- Nurse Manager
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Love Story
From the very beginning, gal's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the gal will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the gal love the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?"
As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the gal to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the gal often vented her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the gal: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The gal agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged.
The gal went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up. One day, while the gal was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice....
The doctors said that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides crying, it's just her silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced her heart every thing it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer. With that, she sent the engagement ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of replies, countless phone-calls, all the gal could do was to cry silently.
The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy. With a new environment, the gal learned sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy.
One day, her friend came & told her that her boyfriend is back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't any news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope containing an invitation for the guy's wedding. The gal was shattered. When she opened the card, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise, let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the engagement ring back into her finger. The gal finally smiled.
Moral of the story: *Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to give... Treat every moment as is if it's the last day, then you'll know how to treasure*
As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the gal to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the gal often vented her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the gal: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The gal agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged.
The gal went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up. One day, while the gal was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice....
The doctors said that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides crying, it's just her silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced her heart every thing it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer. With that, she sent the engagement ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of replies, countless phone-calls, all the gal could do was to cry silently.
The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy. With a new environment, the gal learned sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy.
One day, her friend came & told her that her boyfriend is back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't any news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope containing an invitation for the guy's wedding. The gal was shattered. When she opened the card, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise, let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the engagement ring back into her finger. The gal finally smiled.
Moral of the story: *Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to give... Treat every moment as is if it's the last day, then you'll know how to treasure*
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Is Being Fat A Sin?
Just had an argument with my parents regarding their constant comments and actions saying that I am fat and overweight...
Okie, yes, I admit, I am fat, ugly, overweight and very much chubby! But so what? Does that make me any less human? Does it really matter with their own flesh and blood is fat or not? Is it really that important that I am overweight? Will their lose a piece of their flesh knowing that their daughter is overweight?
I had about enough comments from my parents and relatives giving their opinions on how chubby I am, how to lose weight effectively, not to eat so much and especially my parents restricting me on the food I should eat and what I should not.
They remove all the meat and gives me only vegetables thinking that it would help me with weight loss. They even tells my fiance not to give me the chicken broth as it is fattening. How demoralizing can that get?
Then, when I get hospitalized due to certain issues, they blame it on my weight when overweight has nothing in relation to the reason why I was hospitalized. Reasons for hospitalization: nausea and vomiting, ovarian cyst, constant headache and loss of consciousness. I doubt any of the above diagnosis is related to being overweight!
They always think that being slim is pretty and healthy but have they ever wondered what if one day I get knocked down my a car due to lack of nutrition therefore leading to lose of concentration. Then, when I lose the ability to swallow solid food, gets in a coma, depends on some kind of respirator just to maintain my life. Sure, I would slim down in no time but hopefully by then they won't regret for saying I am fat and wish for me to slim down...
Which girl doesn't want to be pretty? Which girl likes to be chubby and overweight? Which girl enjoys comments daily saying she is fat and needs to cut down on her food intake? Which girl loves to be looking into the mirror and see a chubby image of herself reflecting back at her? Which girl savors the joy of being gawked at by her parents and relatives?
Okie, yes, I admit, I am fat, ugly, overweight and very much chubby! But so what? Does that make me any less human? Does it really matter with their own flesh and blood is fat or not? Is it really that important that I am overweight? Will their lose a piece of their flesh knowing that their daughter is overweight?
I had about enough comments from my parents and relatives giving their opinions on how chubby I am, how to lose weight effectively, not to eat so much and especially my parents restricting me on the food I should eat and what I should not.
They remove all the meat and gives me only vegetables thinking that it would help me with weight loss. They even tells my fiance not to give me the chicken broth as it is fattening. How demoralizing can that get?
Then, when I get hospitalized due to certain issues, they blame it on my weight when overweight has nothing in relation to the reason why I was hospitalized. Reasons for hospitalization: nausea and vomiting, ovarian cyst, constant headache and loss of consciousness. I doubt any of the above diagnosis is related to being overweight!
They always think that being slim is pretty and healthy but have they ever wondered what if one day I get knocked down my a car due to lack of nutrition therefore leading to lose of concentration. Then, when I lose the ability to swallow solid food, gets in a coma, depends on some kind of respirator just to maintain my life. Sure, I would slim down in no time but hopefully by then they won't regret for saying I am fat and wish for me to slim down...
Which girl doesn't want to be pretty? Which girl likes to be chubby and overweight? Which girl enjoys comments daily saying she is fat and needs to cut down on her food intake? Which girl loves to be looking into the mirror and see a chubby image of herself reflecting back at her? Which girl savors the joy of being gawked at by her parents and relatives?
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Invite Or Not To Invite
It seems like a ridiculous question to be asking myself from time to time, but I just can't thinking of this question and pondering of the possibilities of inviting or not inviting 'HIM' to my post R.O.M celebrations... I shan't say who this person is... Let just name him "HIM".
My fiance does not seem to object violently to the idea of inviting him, although he did voice out a bit of unhappiness with the idea of 'HIM' at the R.O.M celebrations. I even asked 'HIM' before if he would be comfortable being at my R.O.M celebrations and he never did want to answer the question... (Very typical of him!)
Anyway, here are the rationale that makes me a bit in a dilemma over to invite 'HIM' or not invite him...
If I invite 'HIM', I worry that he might feel a bit odd or uncomfortable with seeing me getting hitched. He might feel I am being spiteful when I don't mean it. But yet, if I don't invite him, I worry that he might one day ask why didn't I invite him to the celebrations and I won't know how to answer 'HIM'. I mean if I were 'HIM' I would feel a bit weird and uneasy being at a person's R.O.M celebration knowing that we had a past and things didn't work out as we would have expected it to. However, I would still attend it as I regard 'HIM' as a friend now and I know I should be more mature than to let such small matters bother me.
(Hey, don't be mistaken that I still harbor feelings for him... I dun!) But I am just wondering if it is mutual that we just treat each other as just close friends and won't harbor any jealous thoughts or any unhappy thoughts and just be like normal friends feeling glad for each other that we do have a better life now and are happy doing what we do. I mean, I would be happy for 'HIM' if he had found the woman of his life and decided to commit the rest of his life with her. But, does he think the same way too? I don't know...
My fiance does not seem to object violently to the idea of inviting him, although he did voice out a bit of unhappiness with the idea of 'HIM' at the R.O.M celebrations. I even asked 'HIM' before if he would be comfortable being at my R.O.M celebrations and he never did want to answer the question... (Very typical of him!)
Anyway, here are the rationale that makes me a bit in a dilemma over to invite 'HIM' or not invite him...
If I invite 'HIM', I worry that he might feel a bit odd or uncomfortable with seeing me getting hitched. He might feel I am being spiteful when I don't mean it. But yet, if I don't invite him, I worry that he might one day ask why didn't I invite him to the celebrations and I won't know how to answer 'HIM'. I mean if I were 'HIM' I would feel a bit weird and uneasy being at a person's R.O.M celebration knowing that we had a past and things didn't work out as we would have expected it to. However, I would still attend it as I regard 'HIM' as a friend now and I know I should be more mature than to let such small matters bother me.
(Hey, don't be mistaken that I still harbor feelings for him... I dun!) But I am just wondering if it is mutual that we just treat each other as just close friends and won't harbor any jealous thoughts or any unhappy thoughts and just be like normal friends feeling glad for each other that we do have a better life now and are happy doing what we do. I mean, I would be happy for 'HIM' if he had found the woman of his life and decided to commit the rest of his life with her. But, does he think the same way too? I don't know...
Thursday, July 14, 2005
So Much In Love
This is the song my fiance is trying to 'master' as he says he want to sing it at our R.O.M... We will see how it turns out!!! (lolx)
as we stroll along together
holding hands walking all along
so in love are we two
that we don't know what to do
so in love (do so in love)
in a world of our own (do so in love)
as we walk by the sea together
under stars twinkling high above
so in love are we two
no one else but me and you
so in love (do so in love)
so much in love (do so in love)
so in love (do so in love)
so much in love (do so in love)
we stroll along together
i tell you, i need you oh so much
i love, i love you my darling
can you tell it in my touch
as we walk down the aisle together
we will vow to be together till we die
so in love are we two
just can't wait to say i do
so in love (do so in love)
in a world of our own (do so in love)
so in love(do so in love)
are you and i (do so in love)
baby, i hope you realize
that you mean so much to me
you're everything i ever wanted in a woman
to touch, to feel your body close to me
and i just want to hold you in my arms forever
can you (i love you baby) tell it in my touch
as we walk down the aisle together
we will vow to be together till we die
so in love are we two
are we two just can't wait to say i do
so in love (do so in love)
are you and i (do so in love)
so in love (do so in love)
are you and i (do so in love)
(do so in love) so in love
(do so in love) so in love
(do so in love) so in love
(do so in love) so in love
as we stroll along together
holding hands walking all along
so in love are we two
that we don't know what to do
so in love (do so in love)
in a world of our own (do so in love)
as we walk by the sea together
under stars twinkling high above
so in love are we two
no one else but me and you
so in love (do so in love)
so much in love (do so in love)
so in love (do so in love)
so much in love (do so in love)
we stroll along together
i tell you, i need you oh so much
i love, i love you my darling
can you tell it in my touch
as we walk down the aisle together
we will vow to be together till we die
so in love are we two
just can't wait to say i do
so in love (do so in love)
in a world of our own (do so in love)
so in love(do so in love)
are you and i (do so in love)
baby, i hope you realize
that you mean so much to me
you're everything i ever wanted in a woman
to touch, to feel your body close to me
and i just want to hold you in my arms forever
can you (i love you baby) tell it in my touch
as we walk down the aisle together
we will vow to be together till we die
so in love are we two
are we two just can't wait to say i do
so in love (do so in love)
are you and i (do so in love)
so in love (do so in love)
are you and i (do so in love)
(do so in love) so in love
(do so in love) so in love
(do so in love) so in love
(do so in love) so in love
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Cadbury Chocolate Advertisement
Those Cadbury commercials are cute, especially the one where the surfer shook his little chocolate buttocks at the shark.
Surfer:
Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury
You could surf inside a chocolate tube
Ride your board across the wave forever
Get wiped out and never get a bruise.
And if a shark came up and tried to bite you
You could say “I’m chocolate I invite you”
Wouldn’t it be nice!
They actually have a total of 4 commercials altogether. Well, wouldn’t it be nice indeed, especially for the chocoholics. Maybe, with all the sugary sweetness, the world could be a better place if the world was chocolate, Cadbury chocolate that is.
Surfer:
Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury
You could surf inside a chocolate tube
Ride your board across the wave forever
Get wiped out and never get a bruise.
And if a shark came up and tried to bite you
You could say “I’m chocolate I invite you”
Wouldn’t it be nice!
They actually have a total of 4 commercials altogether. Well, wouldn’t it be nice indeed, especially for the chocoholics. Maybe, with all the sugary sweetness, the world could be a better place if the world was chocolate, Cadbury chocolate that is.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
10 Mths To R.O.M
10months more before my R.O.M...
*Sigh* He doesn't seem eager nor like nervous about it, while I am always keeping a look-out for nice gowns, rings, caterers and venues to hold the post-R.O.M celebration for close friends and relatives.
Maybe he ain't interested 'cause he hasn't found a job yet...
Maybe he ain't interested 'cause he thinks 10months is still a long time away...
Maybe he ain't interested 'cause he is unromantic...
Maybe he ain't interetsed 'cause he is simply can't be bothered...
:(
*Sigh* He doesn't seem eager nor like nervous about it, while I am always keeping a look-out for nice gowns, rings, caterers and venues to hold the post-R.O.M celebration for close friends and relatives.
Maybe he ain't interested 'cause he hasn't found a job yet...
Maybe he ain't interested 'cause he thinks 10months is still a long time away...
Maybe he ain't interested 'cause he is unromantic...
Maybe he ain't interetsed 'cause he is simply can't be bothered...
:(
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