Reading

Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps

Been reading this book halfway, courtesy of Geraldine who lend me her book. This book is quite interesting because it actually has scientific proof on the analysis and explanation on why there are difference between men and women. On why women chat so much until men complains that they are noisy and when men keeps their mouth shut, women would perceive something is wrong. Very funny real life stories too, on how conflicts happen just because of gender differences.

Anyway, I hope this book would help improve my understand towards Baku and help us to prevent future misunderstandings. I know he wouldn't be reading this book, so I have got to be the one explaining the book to him...

I recommend couples, young and old, married and attached to read this book. Singles can also read to help them in their future relationship. It can also help improve working life as in working life we deal with the two sexes too...

Frustrations Of Life

Been very unhappy and frustrated these days, especially today at work. Damn't pissed off my colleague. I shan't say her name, so let's just her 'X'.

Today, as usual AM shift is the most hectic and busiest shift of the three shifts that nurses work with serving of I/V medications, oral medications, doctor's rounds, bed sponging, assisted baths, wound dressings and 'changes' in doctor's orders. But today, X's patient passed away. Thus, there were more stuff to do like last offices, monitoring the ECG until a straight line is obtained and death procedures to follow.
(Anyway, 'X' has a history of mental breakdown due to stress.)
I am not sure if 'X' is slow at work or is it that she is unable to cope with the busy AM shift. All I know that she was still serving her medications by 8.30am when I have already long finished mine, brought a patient to assisted bath, bed sponged another patient and did a wound dressing for my patient. (Thank God that at least Kyreen was around to handle the first half of the death process whereby the patient's SpO2 was dropping with the heart rate.)
Yeah, so the patient passed away peacefully at 8.50am and she was still doing other stuff. I seriously didn't know what she was busy with but just decided to help her to the best I can while juggling my own stuff to be done. I think, most nurses would know how busy a nurse can be during the AM shift. So I was busy helping 'X' and handling my report writing, changing wound dressing, labeling forms for specimen taking and I also had an A&E admission. Thus, I missed my breakfast break and lunch break. I still see 'X' so busy and I pitied her. So, when she passed me the medicine keys and ran off without uttering a word to do her stuff. I thought that she was still unable to finish her stuff as the table was still cluttered with her files. I told myself no matter how hungry I am, I must still hang around and help her in whatever I can...
Finally, I got very thirsty and wanted to grab a drink. Walked into the tea-room and guess what?! There 'X' was happily eating and chit chatting! That was my last straw! Here I am hungry until got gastric reflux and there she was eating away... Really cannot take it. Wanted to blow my top at her but stopped myself as I didn't want to create a scene especially when my NM was there with the ward clerk. Afterall, 'X' did suffer from a mental breakdown few week ago and took long leave to unwind herself.
However, I was still boiling mad at her to not even informing me that she was going for break and leaving me to handle all her shit! I am not gonna help her ever again. I feel so silly for helping her when I could have just ignored and go for my own break, do my stuff at my own pace, relax after finishing my things and just watch her being helplessly busy.


Another thing that made me upset, my ear got infected after the ear piercing because the person who did the ear piercing didn't do it properly. Thus, my ear has no more ear piercing already. No more pretty... *sigh* Nevermind, I will just live with it. I don't want to pierce anymore... After all the pain and efforts I put in to prevent infection but end up still infected due the person who pierced it fault.


Okie, I shall end the blog here. Think I have been such a nag... Oh yeah...
To Geraldine:
Take care and rest well. I will wait for you to recover. You still owe my numerous long bus rides to unknown destinations, ice skating, making pewter bowl, visiting the CCK farm and going out for cool food. You also still have to hear my tonnes of complains of Jeff, attend my ROM, attend my wedding, listen to my crap and be a critic of life with me, okie? Haha...

Ear Pierced Once More

I did a crazy and wacky thing yesterday... I finally decided to re-pierce one more ear hole! I guess, I am still the same, old havoc person even though I am going to be stepping into a new phrase of life soon.

Yeah, sure, I was afraid of the risk of damaging my nerve and losing my hearing due to nerve damage or even losing the sense of touch. I was also a bit apprehensive of the pain. I heard that higher area of the ear being pierced, the more painful it will get. However, after much considerations, I still made the decision to get it pierced...

Got pierced at Junction 8 for $6. The pain was like ouch for a second and then ear redness for the next few hours, then a nagging, dull feeling for the rest of the day. Now, it is still the same feeling except when the alcohol is being applied and I have to turn the ear stud. Shiok! Lolx, I do sound sadistic, eh?

Wish me all the best that it wouldn't get infected, otherwise, it will spell TROUBLE...

Air Is Cleared

Ok, I am finally gonna clarify stuff...
1) I am getting ROM soon to the guy that I love.
2) The guy I am marrying is not a substitute for anyone in the past.
3) The ROM is not because I want to take revenge or to hurt anyone or to make anyone jealous or to spite anyone.
4) I truly love the guy I am marrying and willing to spend the rest of my life with him.
5) I am moving on into a new phrase of my life because I feel I am ready to the wife of the guy I love.


Lastly, I need to say to those of like to gossip: Ivan and I are just friends. Mutual friends. Please don't go around saying that maybe he has feelings for me or that he still likes me 'cause he doesn't. The relationship, I had with him will and always be a past, never a present nor ever in the future.

Good, now that I have voiced out and cleared the mess... I am glad to go on to continue with the ROM preparations. It is going to be tough and tedious but all is worth it because I am going to ROM once and for all (besides the traditional wedding part which would also be another headache). The ROM is still so far away... Can time just fly a bit faster?? Please?

ROMing

ROM is just 7 months away...
Still left with the invitations, buffet, venue to have the buffet to decide on. I just hope that everything would be turn out smoothly on that day. I pray that we would get the date we have been hoping for. Lots of worrying stuff but I guess as the time comes nearer, one by one the list of things to accomplish for the ROM would be settled.


PS: Baku, even 'he' turns up for the ROM, I hope you won't be jealous. 'He' is just a close friend to me. Guess not many people would understand why I invited him but I believe I made the right decision to invite him to the ROM celebrations. But trust me, I will still ROM with you and spend the rest of my life with you, ok? I would be willing to go through thick and thin with you even if it means, no more air con every night or sleeping a mattress instead of a queen sized bed or even staying in a one-room flat with you. (Anyway, I doubt you would read this blog. Thus, I am just typing it to ventilate whatever I have never dared to say to you because I am not a very vocal person especially when it comes to mushy words.) Love you always...

Love Verses

It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting. ~ by Todd Ruthman ~


My heart to you is given: Oh, do give yours to me; We'll lock them up together, And throw away the key. ~ by Frederick Saunders ~


The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life. ~ by Sir Hugh Walpole ~


Love knows no reasons, love knows no lies. Love defies all reasons, love has no eyes. But love is not blind, love sees but doesn't mind. ~ by Author unknown ~


Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost, sometimes unrecognized, but in the end, always found with no regrets, forever valued and kept treasured. ~ by Unknown ~


True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart. ~ Honore de Balzac~


Love me without fear Trust me without questioning Need me without demanding Want me without restrictions Accept me without change Desire me without inhibitions For a love so free.... Will never fly away. ~ by Dick Sutphen ~


Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, Often hot and fierce, But still only light and flickering. As love grows older, Our hearts mature And our love becomes as coals, Deep-burning and unquenchable. ~ by Bruce Lee ~

Little Wedding Test

I really wonder how many guys would actually be able to pass this test of love and faithfulness??


My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day the little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

Why?

-Dreamt of him again last night.
-It is not that I dream of him every night but once in a while I would dream of him.
-It is weird... Why do I dream of him and not the guy I love? Why does he matter so much to me when I don't love him at all?
-It is all so weird and not making any sense.
-Am I normal?
-I know I shouldn't even be bothering about his well-being and stuff but I still do.
-Perhaps as a friend...
-If Dear knows, I hope he won't scold me or say anything to affect our future plans.
-It is not a sin but I hope Dear would understand that I don't mean to dream of him.
-Yet, I feel guilty for dreaming of him.
-Just guilty and puzzled...

Money Or Health

Which is more important? Money or Health? Well... was facing with this question for the past few days... since Monday night when I started having dysmenorrhagia (bad menstrual cramps) and menorrhagia (heavy menses). I was considering between losing $60 per day for MC or going to work and have the possibility of unable to function properly as I was slightly giddy. The cramping pain was still bearable...

I was like soaking a overnight pad and changing it every 2 hours. Then, when I go pass urine, the blood will just gush out even before I can sit on the toilet seat. Very scary and gross! First time that I am experiencing menorrhagia. Dysmenorrhagia is common for me as I have already been having it way before my cystectomy and had a short break from it post operatively, now it is back to haunt me.

Anyway, I went to see the GP on Tuesday and he told me that it is normal to get heavy flow of menses this time as I had already missed it for 3 months. He just gave me Synflex to relief the pain and told me to rest at home.

Wednesday is my rest day and I stayed home changing pad every 2 hours and grumbling to Dear about the heavy menses and how I wish I could just remove my womb or use a curette and scrape away the endometrial lining a.s.a.p to shorten the menses period once and for all. I was like practically dripping blood on the floor when I want to change the pad. So my actions had to be fast... By late afternoon, Dear said I looked very pale and gave me a cup of milo to drink. Felt slightly better and napped.

After dinner, I still felt a bit giddy and pain... Decided to see back the same GP to say that the Synflex is useless and that my menses is a lot. This time, the GP was a female doctor, she also said I looked pale and gave me Arcoxia, Codeine Phosphate and Sangobion. One day MC again for Thursday.

Somehow, I know that my NM will sure lecture me or even send to the ADN for counselling or perhaps my PPA would be bad and I won't get my bonus. But, I guess health is more important right? What if I go to work and happen to faint while attending to patient or what if I really too painful to work? Doubt that anyone would understand. My colleagues may also think I 'chao keng' MC... Really don't know...

Miserable. $120 fly away from my next month's pay...

Bought The Wedding Band

Was on morning shift today and tomorrow also but somehow, don't know why after today's morning shift, I was so alert and energetic. Thus, I went to Jurong East to find Dear, who was having his interview there.

Met up with him at around 4.15pm and realized that my long awaited 'Big Aunt' came, which was a blessing because I had missed it for 3 months already due to ovarian cyst. I thought I was doomed when the doctor gave me hormonal pills to help it to come but so long still not here. But, now it has finally it visited me.

Anyway, since I was so energetic, Dear and me decided to start hunting for our wedding bands. Hence, we took an MRT down to Bishan to see Kizoku from Lee Hwa, the wedding bands we have been aiming for months. As usual, it didn't looked too good on me anymore. Quite disappointed. Looked around to Goldheart and Soo Kee also nothing great or nice. Decided to eat at Din Tai Fung for dinner, had 'shui long bao' and beef noodles. Yummy!

Then, we proceeded down to Toa Payoh to have a look at Citigems and SK jewellery. Yes! The Momento True Love Wedding Band series is out!!! However, there were many faults with it, ranging from the diamonds being not symmetrical and the line of the diamond is not parallel. The salesgirl was very persist that we get there pair but she will be willing to send the ring for alteration. Got kind of pissed with her when she suggested to take out my engagement ring to try on the wedding band again. However, guess what?! She wore my engagement ring!!!!! Yeah, happily wearing it for the next 15-20mins while I was still scrunitising the Momento ring. Ok, that's it! I decided to go down to Ang Mo Kio to get the ring from the Ang Mo Kio branch instead, didn't like her attitude and rudeness of wearing my engagement ring... Mind you, MY ENGAGEMENT RING, OK? Of course, not happy lah!

Reached the Ang Mo Kio branch and met the guy who sold me my H & A ring (refer Dec 2004 blog entry). He is a reliable salesman whom I can trust, so after clearing all my doubts and trying on the ring which obviously doesn't fit me, Dear and I made our final decision. The Momento Wedding Band is ours and we are getting it from him. Dear paid for the wedding bands. (Of course, his job mah!)

We would be getting the ring in 6 weeks time and if there are furthur problems we would be sending the rings back for alterations until it is perfect. It has to be perfect, like our wedding life, it has to be perfect despite any arguments or bickering. Right?

Childrens' Day

It is Children's Day today. Ha, too bad I am not a kid anymore, however, I managed to sort of celebrate it.
My HCA (Health Care Attendant), Auntie Oyah, bought two pizzas from Pizza Hut for the nurses of the AM shift. The nurses were also unsure what was the occasion so we just created an occasion for it. Children's Day.
Anyway, I am sick. What to do, 3 days of consecutive AM duty... Of course fall ill is expected. Ha, I am so weak and without proper sleep sure fall ill one. *Sigh*
Oh yeah, these few days my temper has been very bad and my poor Dear has been tolerating my nonsense again. I know he is everyday trying his best not to provoke me, maybe I have been too sensitive and always finding fault with him. Dunno...
By the way, it is also today that a House Officer said I am cute, but he is hopeful that I will not be his SN because he bore a grudge that I 'suan' him when he was still a student doctor. Very funny. At first, I thought he was joking but after he explained to me what happened one year ago when I was in Ward 55A then did I realized that maybe I did 'suan' him. Lol, but I forgot! Typical me anyway, always very forgetful...