Save The Best For Last

sometimes the snow comes down in june
sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
sometimes
it's all a big surprise
'cause there was a time when all I did was wish
you'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
but some how it's enough
and now we're standing face to face
isn't this world a crazy place
just when I thought our chance had passed
you go and save the best for last
all of the night you came to me
when some silly girl have set you free
you wondered how you'd make it through
I wondered what was wrong with you
'cause how could you give your love to someone else
and share your dreams with me
sometimes the very thing your looking for
is the one thing you can't see
and now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
just when I thought our chance had passed
you go and save the best for last
sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see
sometimes the snow comes down in june
sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
just when I thought our chance had passed
you go and save the best for last
you went and saved the best for last

This song is dedicated to Baku... I love you and thanks for standing by me through all that we have been through for the past coming 6years. :)

10 Days More

It is 10 days before Baku and I say our vows and change our marital status... So fast, right? I actually wanted to do a countdown but I lost count of it until Geraldine 'reminded' me last night. At first, I thought she was kidding however, no she wasn't. So yeah, it is 10 days more.

I am left with the following things to complete...
1) Baku's contact lenses
2) Polish wedding bands
3) Find the restaurant
4) Book the restaurant

Almost Choked On Fish Bone

Today whilst I was eating my lunch, I almost freak myself out thinking that I would need to get to an A&E department...
Well, what happened was that I was eating the fish my mum had steamed and as I was swallowing the last mouthful of fish, I felt a bone stuck in my throat. I was not choking but I could feel the sharp pain when I swallow the fish. I tried to cough the bone out, no use! I tried to drink water also no use! I panicked thinking I would need to get to the A&E department, but I can't speak and I was alone at home. Nearly scared myself until I remembered that swallowing chunks of rice might help. However, that would means that I may choke furthur on the rice instead. A 50-50 chance of being able to dislodge the bone from my throat. So last resort, swallowing chunks of rice without chewing and it worked! Lucky me!
I also glad that I didn't choke on the rice, otherwise I would had just said goodbye to my life. Close shave!
I was wondering, if I had died, who would really feel sad and how would different people react to my death. One of Baku and mine friend who works as a optimetrist just passed away 2 weeks ago. He died of fatigue. So scary! Life is just of fragile...

Updating...

Yesterday was pay-day and I went dining at Shatec with Baku. Had a very fulfilling dinner although there were some mishaps before we had dinner. We almost wanted to lodge a complaint in to Shatec as the manager of the restaurant was so unprofessional and not punctual in opening the restaurant, plus Baku and I were famished... So anyway, we didn't and had a nice dinner.
After dinner, we saw a cat that looked like Cheryl's cat, Snuggles. Freaked me out and I called Cheryl to see if that was her cat and Thank God no it wasn't. Met up with her and Jerry while Baku went home to rest as he was tired. Shopped around with Cheryl and stayed over her place with Jerry... (We 'smuggled' Jerry into Cheryl's home.) Sounds exciting right? Yeah, even more 'exciting' if we get caught... Anyway, had fun and thrill doing that illegal stuff. Hope Cheryl and Jerry also enjoyed that thrill.
Today, stayed at Cheryl's place the whole day as Geraldine didn't sms me her hospital room number and her handphone was off. Supposed to visit her but since no sms, how to visit her? *sigh* She is discharging tomorrow, so looks like I can't meet her before I change my marital status... :(
Now, back at Baku's place after dinner at Furama Hotel. Had buffet dinner... Kind of full... So sinful... *shake head* I totally suck at disciplining myself to go on a diet. Hee hee, can't resist the temptation of good food.
Tomorrow, BACK TO WORK until next Thursday!!! Sianz...

17 days more...

Tomorrow is pay-day... but need the cash for lots of stuff...
1) Banquet
2) Thailand trip

Anyway.. in the meanwhile enjoy this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsJbr991SlI&search=fort%20minor
So touching... the song about the families of those american guys who served the army to fight the war and has to be far away from their loved ones. Very touching! :(

Rainy Days

Last night, Baku and I had a huge arguement! We even wanted to call off the ROM. Felt that he was uninterested in the ROM and he felt I didn't trust him enough to handle the ROM... Long story. Anyway, that is settled and we are still going ahead with the ROM afterall... Sorry folks for all the worrying for us. Thanks for the concern. :)

Last night, attended Sheena's birthday dinner and guessed what? Samuel proposed to Sheena after the dinner. So touching! So romantic! He proposed with a bouquet of purple tulips and a Soo Kee Brilliant Rose solitare ring. So sweet! Yeah, so Sheena is engaged to Samuel. Congrats girl if you happen to be reading this entry. :) Mrs Lay Foo Fok? <-- correct? Hee hee!

Today, sorted out some issues with Baku and felt that we had been having a lot of unwanted misunderstandings for the past few weeks and lead us to almost cancelling the ROM. But Thank God we had all that sorted out and calmed down to express how we really feel. Thus, we the good news is that we had booked our mini honey-moon trip to Bangkok from 11 May -13 May 2006. We had also 'settled' the ROM flowers. Hence, guess we are one more step nearer to completion of 'to-do' list for our ROM.

Ok, so now left undone are:
1) polish ring
2) confirmation for hotel stay at Bangkok
3) collect ROM gown next monday from dry-cleaning
4) choose and book restaurant
5) Baku's contact lenses

Type A Personality

Did a test online re: personality. Here is the results


Your score = 73

Type A Score 73
What does your score mean?
You have many of the characteristics of a Type A personality. Type A personality is characterized by an exaggerated sense of time urgency, competitiveness, anger and hostility. You should try to make some changes to your attitude and behaviors as these can inhibit your happiness and even threaten your health.

Family Conference

In around 2 hours time, Baku's parents would be at my house to meet my parents. Sounds pretty formal and weird. Although, his parents say it is an informal meeting like a 'get-to know' each other session, it seems to me like a discussion about marriage when parents of the female and male meet to discuss about the child's marriage and talk about dowry + bride price.

Anyway, just finished my night duty, now super tired but yet, I know I must not sleep anymore otherwise, tonight I wouldn't be able to sleep. Last night, was much better than the previous 2 nights, however, there was still blood transfusion to be given and a potential bleeding patient. Thank goodness, he didn't bleed anymore, he was already so pale from the massive bleeding event he had in the late evening.

Ok, now looking forward to resting tomorrow but what should I do tomorrow? No plans yet...
*Sigh*

Last Night Of ND

Tonight, would be last night of night duty and tomorrow would be a 'meet the parents' session at my place for Baku and mine parents.

For the past 2 nights, I have been very busy. Lucky for me, I have Starsbucks coffee to keep myself awake with. Discovered a new liking for Caramel Fraccupino after Rumba Fraccupino is no longer available.

Anyway, what's with patients nowadays? For the both night duties, I have been busy with setting up blood transfusion for patients. It seems that patients nowadays tend to low blood and needs blood transfusion, somemore in the middle of the night. Very troublesome to get blood in the night. Need to arrange GXM. Call blood bank to check availability. Await porter to collect blood from the ward and bring it back (that would need around 2hrs), then wait for doctor on call to check the blood (that would take another 1-2hrs).

Not to forget the endless of call-bells due to Ah Ma's with incontinence, FON patients who can't sleep at night, disoriented dementia patients who press the call-bell for fun and lastly, a paramedic who knows no nuts but behaves as if he is some big ***k with no knowledge. He has been bugging me to stupid reasons like can't sleep despite Ativan served, wants Valium at 6am in the morning, accidentally bend his I/V cannula, request to set new cannula, smoking in his room knowing that the oxygen panel is just behind his head and would explode if he is unlucky due to Oxygen and fire from his cigarette butt.

*sigh* One more night to go and I can at least rest for 2 days. So sianz! Wonder how our Teo Yen Yee can stand 4 nights with such irritants through-out the night. So wai-yang! Once a month night shift is enough for me although the night allowance tempting.

1 Month To 23 Years Old

In exactly one month's time from time, I would be aging 1 year older. That means, I would be 1 year nearer to my growing older.

But at the same time, 28 days from now, I would hopefully be a married woman, legally. Which means I would be marrying at the age of 22 years old. So young!

My 'wish' for my ROM age is 23/24 years old. So I am like near my target, but yet, only 22 years old on the day I am to ROM. Keke... Confusing... Ok, shall not confuse myself furthur. So, yeah, anyway, I would be 22 years old when I am signing my future away to a guy I have being loving for 6 years on 10 May 2006.

Just recalling, how we met and every happy times we spent for the past 6 years just brings a smile on my face. Thinking back on all the stuff and obstacles we had fought through as a couple, all the perserverance has all paid off. For all the hard work we put in to maintain and strengthen the relationship is finally going to be rewarded. I guess and hopefully, as we step into the new phrase of our life on 10 May 2006, we would be walking into the unknown path of our future, together, still as lovingly as a couple, even till the day one of us is on our death-bed when we are 70 or 80 years old...

Not many people know how Baku actually proposed, only my close friend, Geraldine, knows (and hopefully she would keep it a secret). However, that evening, I wouldn't say it is my perfect, romantic scene of proposal, but I guess, he must be desperate for creative ideas to propose... Desperate to get the answer "YES" out from my mouth... *grins*

Anyway, I would be walking into a phrase of my life with him soon and hopefully, our marriage would last us until we are much older, when our hair is greying and when the day God decides to call one of us or both of us at the same time back into paradise...

I love you, Baku!

29 Days More

Yesterday, while chatting with my cousin who just came back from UK, she was asking if I was excited about my ROM and I told her that I wasn't, in fact I was pretty neutral and 'sian' waiting for 10 May 2006 to come. Her next question send me pondering...

It is 29 days more to my ROM and funny part is that I am excited nor anxious about it. Baku also. He is taking things slowly, one step at a time...
Q1) Why aren't we anxious or excited like other couples would be?
Q2) Is this normal for couples like us who has already been together for nearly 6years?
Q3) Does this mean deep down in our hearts, we are not ready to be married?
Q4) Does this mean that we don't prioritise ROM as important?

True, I was pretty excited after his proposal in September 2005, but as time past, the anxiety just died down and gradually the feeling of neutral crept in. Weird right?

1 Month More & We Quarrelled

THE COLOUR OF SADNESS

Sadness is a colour, and it wraps inside me tightly like coils of silk, wet with blood.
But sadness is not red.

It drips into my soul like a slow slow ocean, and fills me with water until I feel I will drown.
But sadness is not blue.

It surrounds me like a void and I am lost in nothing. Forever.
Yet sadness is not black.

It grows inside me like a tree, spreading out to fill me with its branches and empty foliage.
But sadness is not green.

Sadness is not a colour, but it wraps inside me tightly like coils of my soul, wet with blood.

Awaiting For Bond To End

Been very fed up at work these few days. Made few errors and got myself into lots of shit! My dizziness is still present also... Why? Why has all these got to happen to me?

I am supposed to be happily preparing for my ROM and getting myself all set to end my bond in June. However, have been very vexed and causing myself more troubles are work. The more stuff happens, the more I feel like quitting.

Called HR department today, felt like giving a stat resignation letter to end all my work woes but was told that I had to pay at whooping S$5000-$6000 if I break my bond. Wow! Just to tolerate 2 months more would save me that amount. But, I can't work anymore. Things at work are getting more out of hand to control and to tolerate. The management system is getting more on my nerves. Relationship with NM Chan is also worsening due to the mistakes I made.

Wonder why my mind has not been serving me well after the accident that happened at ward. Could be the knock that has been affecting my memory, my intelligence, my common sense and my state of mind? I admit that I made those mistakes. How come? Why are all these happening to me time after time again?

Becoming pretty depressive again...

Mini Shopping Spree

Today, met Geraldine and had lunch at Coffee House (Raffles Place). Ordered my mud pie, fish & chips and rose bud tea. Quite a satisfying lunch except for a few weird people that we met: the so expressive Japanese lady, unhygienic gay, act pretty but not pretty female and a bunch of uncivilized working class people.
Proceeded down to Tampines to see and look at Crocs... But Geraldine bought her Crocs after much persuasion by me that she doesn't look funny and that the Crocs does suit. My goodness, can't believe that she can also be so vain and behave like totally like a choosy female species when it comes to buying stuff. Anyway, finally she bought her Crocs thinking and feeling like a crocodile.
So went walking around and visited the Soo Kee store and found out that the infinity brilliant Rose wedding band for the female is out of stock. It would only be back in stock in May. Too bad! Really like that ring...
Walked around somemore and guess what? We entered Charles & Keith and I found my ROM shoes. I mean, I just intend to browse and tell Geraldine that Charles & Keith's shoes are not suitable for me as the leather part of the shoe is very hard and would give me blisters. However, I found a nice pair of shoes for my ROM. Thus, yes, one more thing settled for the ROM.
Walked to Century Square and I bought a blanket which is soft and comfy. Too bad that Geraldine doesn't like it. Don't understand her at times, she feels the blanket was pretty comfy and yet she is afraid that she would sweat covering it without air-con when I feel that without air-con the blanket would still be just right.
Met up with Baku, ate dinner and watched 'Ultraviolet'. After the movies, I bought a H&A ( Hearts and Arrow) ring. Haha... so yeah, today lots of unexpected buys and spending of money for me... *Grins*

010406

HAPPY APRILS' FOOL DAY!

so far, no jokes or prank played on me. Thank goodness, 'cause not in the mood today.
:S
Super moody!