I Found My Rainbow

I found my rainbow yesterday evening...
Got a call from the company and was told that I have been offered a position as a SN.
Hurray!
Starting work on 9 Oct 2006.
Signing the appointment letter tomorrow.
So happy.
15mins walk from Baku's place.
40mins bus ride from my house.
Pay also reasonable.

Now, just crossing my fingers that I can get this job forever and permanently. Hopefully, whatever that had happened to me at Raffles won't happen again. Too devastating if the same thing happened again...

Hady Won... Boo...

As I am predicted Hady won. I just knew it. No matter how hard I root for Jonathan, the malay community will put Hady to be the winner... *sigh*

I have mailed my resume to KKH and IMH. Yes IMH, I guess not many people know that actually I also kind of enjoy working with mentally ill patients. They can be scary when violent but they can also be funny. Their irrational believes and their behaviors are quite funny.

Baku works with insane people and when he tells me his experience with these sort of people, I find them very funny. At the same time, I sympathize with them for living in a society where there is a stigma against mentally ill people even when they are put on regular medications. I agree that their insanity would somehow relapse when under certain circumstances, but they are afterall still human. They need our understand and not rejection. They need our help to rehabilitate them not to condemn them. Actually not just insane people need our support, those mentally challenged, orphans and ex-offenders too. They too need our acceptance but it seems the cruelty of the society is to stigmatize them and cast them aside.

Anyway, I am also not sure when my rainbow would appear but in the meantime, thankfully when all people think I am communication problems and reprimand me for losing my Raffles job, there is still Baku who understands that I am innocent and sympathize with me for my lost.

Singapore Idol Finals Tonight!

The finals of Singapore Idol would be held tonight. Well, at least something to look forward to for today... Have been very upset for the past 2 days even though I have not shown it much to the people around me. I admit that I am a pretty weak person internally but I tend not to show it for the fear that people would mock at me...

Anyway, I am rooting for Jonathan Leong to win but somehow, I feel that history would repeat itself and the winner would be a muslim guy again. Not that I have something against muslims, but I feel the muslims tend me more united and fight strongly for their 'own people'.

Went out with Kyreen yesterday, walked the streets of Orchard Road and I realized that we were two very upset people even though others may think that we are happy people. Kyreen shared her own problems and I shared mine. We realized that even though our problems are different in nature but we are equally upset about it. I told that I wanted to cry about my problem but I just can't. She too. It set me thinking.. Why are tears so hard to flow when we needed them to flow to help us feel little better? Then, during times when we don't intend for them to flow, they just flow so easily and we can't fight them back no matter how hard we try?

I really wonder what did I do to deserve such bad luck to happen to me? First it is my wedding band. Now it is my lost of job... I really wonder when would I find my next job and would history repeat itself? I used to be confident that I am happy and stable in Raffles Hospital but I was wrong, just one complaint letter to the CEO and I am kicked out without even knowing what I had done wrong and even a chance to explain myself. So cruel!

I am trying very hard to be strong and think positively that my lost of job is just temporary. That the lost of job is just a way of God's greater plan to show me the path to a better suited job for me. Wonder when would that time come? I would be losing SGD 1400 soon to compensate the agency who recommend me Raffles Hospital. I feel so innocent but yet have to go through such stuff. When would I be happy again?

As the chinese saying goes, when the boat reaches the harbour, things will straighten out. But when would that time comes?? *sigh*

Woes

No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

[chorus]
Cause there’s something in the way you look at me
Its as if my heart knows you’re the missing piece
You made me believe that there’s nothing in this world I can’t be
I never know what you see
But there’s something in the way you look at me

If i could freeze some moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I’d like to stop the clock, make time stand still
‘Cause baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

*chorus*

I dont know how or why I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens everytime

[repeat chorus]

The way you look at me

PS: Baku, I love you and thanks all your loving and supporting during the times I am down and depressed. I am very grateful that I am still your Bitto even after 6 years... May we continue to be as one forever... I love you...

Bad News and Good News

Bad News:
1) Baku and I would be refunding our ring to SK jewellery and not going to have anymore liasing with SK jewellery in the future. I take as we have 'lost' the battle but I am not going to stop bad mouthing them to anyone or to any body who ask me for any feedback with regards to SK jewellery.

2) I am not longer with Raffles Hospital with immediate effect as my ass has been fried. Some weird patient's complained about me and my 'step-mother' to the CEO of Raffles Hospital. Best of all, they didn't even give me a chance to defend myself much and even read the complain letter. How unfair! Raffles Hospital also told me to keep this complain a hush -hush matter and not let any of my colleagues know about it. I feel so indignant but what can I do? Now I have to pay Recruit Express an estimated of SGD1400 in penalty for something that isn't my fault at all! That is the bad part of working in a private hospital setting where money comes first rather than anything else. This also means, I have to start all over again to find a job... How depressing!

Good News:
1) Baku and I have already found our wedding bands from Citigems jewellery and would be collecting the rings on 3 Oct 2006! The price of the ring is also lower than the refund for our SK jewllery wedding bands, this means we cover cost and even have extra cash more...

2) Baku is thankfully very supportive and even very encouraging towards me for losing this job. He is helping me to think positively through this tough time. However, I am still very much upset over the lost of the job.

Ear Infection

Since last week, I have been having this ear-ache but I didn't do anything about it as I thought it would go away by itself. But no, it had to persist until today, when I cannot stand the pain any furthur, then did I go to the doctor's to have it checked. As expected, ear infection again...
Wonder why am I having this ear infection???
Could it be..
1) My ear misses NM Chan's constant nagging 24/7 until when now I am kind of away from her, then my ear drum is protesting? Hee hee... or...
2) My ear is now undergoing a 'step-mother' lecture daily until my ear drum cannot stand it and decided to have an infection? (By the way, my 'step-mother' is this locum nurse who works at my work place and would be leaving on Tuesday. I heard that Raffles had kicked her butt as they have already employed me. Thus, she has to go... Too bad for her... Anyway, I could see why no one likes her and the previous few staffs had left because of her attitude and mannerism.)

Watched this dumb and lame Japanese horror show today called "Haunted Apartment". Not as nice as the movie I watched called "Art Of The Devil 2" and "Stay Alive" last week. However, the best so far I watched recently is called "Ghost Game". I would be watching "Pulse" tomorrow, saw that 8days magazine had given it a two out of five star rating...

Invincible

I don't have nerves of steel
I have a heart that feels
I may have cried a million tears but I wont drown

I let myself unfold
Gave you my hand to hold
You took me beyond where I could see
And then you let go of me. . .

I was damaged by the fall
Got the wind knocked out of me
To be standing here at all
I must be invincible

I thought that I would break
But now I have come to see
Something strong and beautiful
Inside of me
I must be invincible. . .

I dont have X-rays eyes
Don't have a heart so wise
How could I have known you'd let me down

If I had known back then my eyes are wide open
I still believe I would risk it
There is no way I would've missed it

I was damaged by the fall
Got the wall knocked out of me
To be standing here at all
I must be invincible

I thought that I would break
But now I've come to see
Something strong and beautiful
Inside of me
I must be invincible...

Ahh. . . its a blessing and a curse
Ahh. . . But I found out just what you've worth

Working Life

I am finally blogging again after a week of working life!
First two days of work was like boring... reading protocols, self orientation to the new environment, reading the basic stuff that I a newbie should be reading.
After those two days, I was back to working as a newbie nurse in the clinic and I coped pretty well. Of course there were like things that I am unsure of or when I get stuck during work and I had to ask my other colleagues to help me. My working colleagues are all very nice, friendly and helpful. I even met the girl who 'stole' my ENT position and she is my NYP lecture group-mate. Haha, small world! She knows Kyreen too!!!
Anyway, I found out that actually I was place in Children's Clinic because they found my personality was more bubbly and they felt that it suited Paeds more than ENT setting. So never, I don't really care anymore because I am so far happy with the kids and have started to blend into the busy clinic settings.
Guess I would be updating my blog every weekend cause I would be very tired after work and won't have the energy to blog. Haha...

Work Tomorrow

START WORKING TOMMORROW...
Bought Vit C tablets to protect myself and the kids that I would be working with. Don't wish myself to fall ill and pass the germs to them. Anyway, if I should fall ill or need to take a day off, it would be considered as NPL (no pay leave) as I am under probation until December onwards...
Baku booked out today and would be going back to camp tonight. Awaiting for Friday to come, then he would officially be out of his reservist and can start wearing his wedding band again. He said that he doesn't want to scratch the ring any furthur during his reservist, thus, he is not wearing the wedding band. I think it is an excuse... Oh well, guys are hard nuts to crack...

2days More To Enjoy

I am left with another pathetic 2 days before I start work again. This time in a new working environment.
1/9/2006: Went out with Lili to Bugis and brought her to my future working place and she was all in awe of the place. Haha, like mountain tortoise... Anyway, went to her house for a while and helped her to cook dinner. Had dinner at her place, met her hubby for the 1st time- nice guy, just a bit MCP. BAKU BOOKED OUT YESTERDAY... Yeah! So happy!!! Stayed over his place and he went back to camp this early morning. Hee hee...

2/9/2006: Went for pedicure and eye-brow shaping with Kyreen. Did facial mask at her place before going to CHC. Had dinner at Changi Airport T2 and now I am back...

Hands to Heaven - Breathe

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving

CHORUS:
So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your faceI
whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

CHORUS

Morning has come, another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye, goodbye

CHORUS