Uploads Of Video & Pix

These two videos were filmed on last Thursday when my mum in law went down for her folk and line dance classes. Very fun to see them dance, very chaotic with all the wrong moves or unnatural moves.

Just uploaded my Saturday outing pictures at my multiply webby... Go check them out:

http://mintger.multiply.com/photos/album/29/Trip_To_Botanical_Garden

I miss my Baku who is serving the nation and suffering in the midst of the jungle now...

What If...

One of my friend is currently undergoing divorce after being unhappily married for the past 2-3 years. When I heard it, I was full of pity and my heart went out to her because I know going through a divorce is a very heart-wrenching, painful, long and expensive process. However, she said she is happier as well as looking forward to her divorce to be finalize. She also said her life would be better off without her soon to be ex-husband.
Now I am admiring her for his determining spirit, strength as well as toughness to be willing to make the decision to leave her unhappy marriage behind and move on with her life. When asked how about her son, she replies confidently that she bring him up to be someone unlike his father. Such amazing confidence!
It makes me wonder, what if one day, I fall into the same shoes as her... Would I be able to take it as strongly head on? Would I be able to muster the same strength as her? Would I be able to accept this fate so freely? Would I maintain the same positive outlook as her? Or would I crumble into pieces and dare not to face this harsh reality?
Guess I would most likely be unable to stand up and face a pending divorce if it happens and my marriage failing. I know I would unable to take the another case of getting my heart and trust broken. Although, my heart is nearly broken currently, at least I can still say I am married and MAYBE my husband still loves me. However, if the scenario of divorce happens to me, I think I would sink into great depression and be able to stand up confidently again. Not that I don't have the money to fight for my divorce. Not that I am fearful of divorce due to pride or family upbringing issues. Not that I am unwilling to go through the long painful process of divorce. The fact is that I still have feelings of love for my husband no matter how upset I am with him and my marriage since Feb this year...
I am not as strong as people make me. I am not as carefree and 'happy go lucky' as what others think of me. I am actually very soft, pessimistic, fragile, vulnerable and easily depressed...

Desperate!!!

I am desperate for a break away all these past months of suffering.
I am desperate for the old him.
I am desperate for a miracle to improve my marriage.
I am desperate for a sign from him to know that I am safe and that he still loves me.

Help!

Found It

Finally I found the song I have been looking for. My first encounter with this song was when I was attending one of the marriage lectures held at CHC. Although I don't really know the lyric but from the first time I heard this song, it brought tears to my eyes. This song just somehow touches my raw nerve. I simply love this song. Hope one day to find the lyrics to this song.

http://saren-teo.imeem.com/music/l2NLNTxF/first/

Love Hurts When You Fall In Love With The Wrong Person

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have& all I know is
You got to give me everything& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

10 August 2007

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

1yr and 3mths today... as usual, he forgot...
Went out for coffee with Rachael and it was nice to reminise on the good old school days when we were back in TPSS enjoying our youths. Wild, young and awfully innocent to the working woes... It is all fun and O- Levels for us back then... Who knows that 8 years later, we would be married and she would be someone's mummy soon. Lol... Cool!

Such Bliss Will Never Happen To Me Again

You don't regret for what you have done to destroy my princess bliss life.
You don't regret for making me upset and ruining my blissful married life.
You don't regret for causing my world to stop and crumble months ago.
You don't regret for shaking my confidence of a stable marriage to you.

You believed that I deserved it.

I agree that I had done you wrong first.
I agree that I had made you disappointed in me first.
I agree that I had betrayed you first.
I agree that I had made you lose trust in me first.

I am willing to lay down my pride and admit that I am regretful... But are you regretful? You are not.

I know that I may not be the best wife a man wants
I know that I may not be the prettiest woman a man can wish for
I know that I may not be the most ideal woman a man desires
I know that I may not be the gentlest woman a man request for

But you know that I will stand by you through thick and thin... However, I don't think you do treasure and cherish my love for you.

Maybe you will know it when the time is ripe and perhaps by then, it would be too late...