Say You Love Me - MYMP

Don't you know that I want to be more that just your friend
Holding hands is fine
But I've got better things on my mind
You know it could happen
If you'd only see me in a different light
Baby when we finally get together
You will see that I was right

Say you love me
You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me
Don't treat me like I was ice
Please love me
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
If you'd only say you love me baby
Things would really work out fine

Don't you know that I want to be more that just your friend
Holding hands is fine
But I've got better things on my mind
You know it could happen
If you'd only see me in a different light
But baby when we finally get together
You will see that I was right

Say you love me
You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me and don't treat me like I was ice
Oh please love me
I'll be yours and you'll be mine and if you'd only say you love me baby
Things would really work out fine

Say you love me
You know that it could be nice
If you'd only say you love me and don't treat me like I was ice oh
please love me I'll be yours and you'll be mine and if you'd only say you love me baby
Things would really work out fine and if you'd only say you love me darling
Things would really work out fine

21 Days More

In another 21 days I am not longer a Northern Hope staff. I am supposed to be kind of upset and unwilling but guess what, after this whole week of shit I am experiencing, I am more than happy to go.
Everyone at work is very practical now. Work time, everyone is like friends. After work, gossips fly... Then, everyone all also very sian to work and no mood to work harder. It is understandable. Kavita has taken no pay leave until end of June (also means until Northern Hope closes), leaving Brenda the only clerk around to survive. Poor Brenda. Sharon is also very cold towards me, guess she knows I am leaving soon and need not to be so nice to me anymore. Nevermind, I am just tolerate this nonsense another 3 weeks more and I am out of there... Must leave gracefully...
I have also decided not to be nice to undeserving people too. Threw out an old friendship with someone who does not deserve my sincere friendship... Seen and learnt too much to maintain a bitch by my side...
Guess I am falling sick too. The flu bug is spreading to me... Guess it loves me too, that is why... LOL...

I Am Not Happy

Did full shift yesterday and I vow that would be my last full shift done at Northern Hope. Not only it is mentally and physically draining, it also made me very highly stressed up. It also gave someone an excuse to take leave to go for her job interview last minute. All she needed to do is to inform my colleague in the morning and leave just both us to handle the whole clinic with nearly 20 over patients plus 3 doctors' sessions to run. Guess I was too stressed up until I had no appetite to eat my lunch as well as dinner, my mind was not working well making me unable to concentrate and my payment stuff didn't tally, so I had to fork out an extra SGD 10.70 from my pocket just to balance out the 'accounts'.

Sunday afternoon as I was taking my nap, I hallucinated and woke up feeling violated... That impacted me so badly that I woke up crying... I really and regret being foolish and silly when I was younger to have ruined my mental status. My folly got me into deep shit and a hard to get out situation. However, I am glad that it is over now after so long, but, I still can't recover mentally. Guess that event is too tramatising for me. It ruined almost my life entirely, it ruined my loving marriage with the guy I love so much.

My life just sucks now...

My Dreams... Fulfilled!

Come 18 June 2007...I am finally stepping into my dream zone. God bless me while I am tread carefully in my dream zone.

1st Post As An 24 Years Old

Been 3 days since I turned 24 already and I am starting to feel very old... A few things I would like to rant about for the past few days...

1) Northern Hope would not be providing compensation for its closing down. The excuse they gave was that they had given us ample notice of 2 months with regards to us closing down.
2) I didn't get the placement in Asia Medic. Sharon and Noelle had gotten the placement instead.
3) No one is allowed to take anymore furthur annual leaves until Northern Hope closes
4) I think I blew the chance in KKH. The HR department was supposed to call me yesterday to let me know the results but they didn't, so I called the HR department lady who had liasing for the interview for me instead. The answer I was given was that she had not recieve any news with regards to it and would get back to me by today latest... Today, half a day has gone by and no calls from her yet... Disappointing... My dreams all dashed...
5) I am dragging my feet to work daily. I am dreading going to work seeing everyone so low morale to work and perform, Recruit page of the newspaper lying over the counter, everyone using the computer in doctor's room to surf for jobs online and everyone whining that Northern Hope is No Hope.

I feel so blue... This year is really a bad year for me... One bad thing after another...

Happy Birthday To Myself

Turned 24 officially around now as I was born 24 years ago around this time. No feelings of being 24 kicking in yet. Plans for today include staying home to rot until dinner time, then go out with my parents for dinner.
Wishes for birthday:
1) Good health
2) Everlasting marriage to Baku
3) Stable job at KKH

Anyway, Happy Birthday to Clarice, my mei mei, over at Melborne celebrating her birthday tomorrow...

10 May 2007 (1 Year Later...)

After much stormy months... We finally made it through the first year after being married. Thank God... Praying for many more years to come... Praying very hard 'cause I really do treasure this marriage and love him too much...

Countdown: 2 days more before I age another year...

Countdown...

2 days:

1) Happy birthday to Edwin (my meimei's close friend)

2) Happy 1yr ROM anniversary

4 days:

1) Happy birthday to myself, grow older again... :( More responsibilities, more problems, more troubles, more independent, more expectations and more obstacles but same old immature and childish me... Haiz!

5days:

1) Happy birthday to my meimei, Chung Woon. Hope you like the present that was flown over to you. Yes, older again...

Northern Hope, No Hope

Just got the news today at 3pm that my company would be closing down by end of June and everyone would be out of job. It was announced by my company's medical director. He had called for a meeting last minute and solemnly informed us that the company ain't making much profit and the major shareholders are not going to pump in more capital. The investor whom my medical director had hope in had also decided withdraw after looking through our accounts. This shows the company is really not doing well at all.
Everyone who was present at the meeting was in state of shock. Although our medical director did mention there is another company called Asia Medic located in Orchard area, that is willing to take in few of our staff. However, deep down in my heart, I know that the priority will go to those older staff and those pregnant staff like Ivy and Kavita. Newbies like Noelle and me will have no hope in getting a placement there.
Looks like this year is really a bad luck year for me. First, my marriage life is hay-wired. Second, my wedding is called off. Thirdly, got someone had to ruin my friendship by saying something stupid out of anger and got her sister to call me a BIMBO. Now, such drastic news... It is not even half of 2007 gone and so many things has happened to dampened my mood daily.
SOS!

What Is Love???

According to yahoo dictionary:
)A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2)A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3)Sexual passion.
4)Sexual intercourse.
5)A love affair.
6)An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
7)A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
8)An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
9)A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
10)The object of such an enthusiasm


Another random finding from the net:
Love is being happy for the other person when they are happy, being sad for the person when they are sad, being together in good times and being together in bad times.
Love is the source of strength.
Love is being honest with yourself at all times, being honest with the other person at all times, telling, listening, respecting the truth and never pretending.
Love is the source of reality.
Love is an understanding so complete that you feel as if you are a part of the other person, accepting the other person, just the way they are and not trying to change them to be something else.
Love is the source of unity
Love is the freedom to pursue your own desires while sharing your experiences with the other person, the growth of one individual along side of and together with the growth of another individual.
Love is the source of success.
Love is the excitement of planning things together, the excitement of doing things together. Love is the source of the future.
Love is the fury of the storm, the calm in the rainbow.
Love is the source of passion.
Love is giving and taking in a daily situation, being patient with each other's needs and desires.
Love is the source of sharing
Love is knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens, missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times.
Love is the source of security.

According to the bible:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in inquity, but rejoices in the truth; bear all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

In my opinion and own words:
Love is wanting to spend every minute and second with the other person.
Accepting his changes, accepting that he has matured, accepting that he ain't the same person as 6 years ago, accepting that I am no longer first priority in his life and accepting his mood swings.
Being contented with his daily dosage of cold attitude towards me. Being contented that at least he does acknowledge my presence. Being contented that at least he knows he has a wife, that me. Being contented that he is willing to share the same bed as me. Being contented that he still laugh with me and joke with me.
Seeing him happier than I am... Letting him be happier while I am hurting deep inside. Giving him the power to implement changes according to his own preference even though I feel it ain't for the better.
Watching him sleep peacefully, wanting to gently run my fingers through his hair and kissing him but yet, know better than to wake him up and get a scolding from him... Guess it is finally called fearful him.
Being a F.C.P by nature but yet been able to tone down to allow him to boss me around instead, being at his beck and call.
Sacrificing my own personal pride to allow him to gain his own personal ego.
Knowing that what ever I had and will sacrifice will not be appreciated by him but yet continue doing so just to see him happy, contented and smiling at me...
Finally understand what pain he had to go through for the past 6 years when I was a spolit girlfriend... Haiz...
Pains of love...