2nd PoD

Living in pain for the past 2 days... The pain is worst than PMS pain... It is I can't differentiate from chest pain or operation pain...
Opened up my wound for the first time since my operation day and saw the ugly scar... No stitches, just a cut oozing with haemo-serous fluid. Haiz... One more scar to add on to my painful memories.
However, no matter how ugly I look, I would not want to go for any plastic surgery to enhance or hide the scars. I want to be natural and real. I rather be full of scar than to go for anything fake. Never enjoyed fakeness... Be it in looks or character. I feel one should be real under all circumstances and not be fake just to secure a friendship or to be with the one who love, only to reveal the bad side after everything has been secured.
I shall just have to gradually accept my new 'flaw' and hopefully he will also accept this new 'flaw'. Praying that this 'flaw' would not change my character to be someone with less security or low self esteem. At least even if I have low self esteem, I can boldly say to everyone that I am not a fake person... Thank God for that!

11hrs Post GA

* blur
*giddy
*brain-blocked
*drowsy
* tired
* pain

PS: those who are curious on how my fibroadenoma looks like, let me know and I will send the pix you as I don't wish cause any faint-hearted people to collapse immediately or get nightmare after seeing the pix... So do let me know if anyone is interested in seeing it but make sure you don't throw up, faint or get nightmare after seeing it. Muah-ha-ha...

Last Post Pre Op

The noisy goose that I took when I went to the animal farm at Pasir Ris in the morning...

Countdown: 16hrs more...

Just came back from attending Shuting's wedding about an hour ago. Nice wedding... Romantic and sweet just like all weddings (almost moved me to tears, as usual). Pretty bride too!!! Reminded me of my ROM day... Reminded me that I am lucky too to have my hubby by my side for the past 1+ year even though we had gone through major hiccups since the start of the year.

Last post before I go for my operation... So wish me all the luck I need... My husband would be going with me to support and encourage me. Hopefully all goes well and I can recover soon...

PS: Met Kyreen at Shuting's wedding, she seemed pretty cold towards me, so since she is cold, why should I be warm right? Anyway, she looked so different from how she looked when I last saw her in May, prettier and fairer I guess...

KKH Dinner & Dance

Venue: Swissotel

Date: 20 Oct 2007

Time: 6.30pm - 11.15pm

Won nothing @ the lucky draw :(

10 Days More

1) Signed my medisave claim form
2) Went to 'survey' the Day Surgery department
3) KKH Dinner and Dance tomorrow evening... Can't decide what to wear...

Anyway... my latest song craze:
First time
That I saw your eyes
Boy you looked right through me, mmmhmm

Played it cool
But I knew you knew
That cupid hit me, mmm mmm

You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, crumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love

So in love with you
can't help it
The girl can't help it

Can't breathe
When you touch my sleeve
Butterflies so crazy, mmm mmm

Whoa now?
think I'm goin down
Friends don't know whats with me, mmm mmm

You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, crumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love

So in love with you
can't help it
The girl can't help it

You know, this ain't the first time this has happened to me
This love sick thing
I like serious relationships and uh
A girl like me dont stay single for long
Cuz everytime a boyfriend and I break up
My world is crushed and I'm all alone
The love bug crawls right back up and bites me and I'm back

can't help it
The girl can't help it

You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, crumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love with you
Clumsy cuz I'm falling in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, crumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love

So in love with you
So in love with you
So in love with you

*reminds me when I fell in love with him... kekeke...

14 days Countdown

Watched Resident Evil today. Rating: ***

Summary Of Last Weekends To Friday

Saturday:
- woke up with slight running nose
- went out with my dad in the morning to buy 4 fighter fishes ( 3 females for myself and 1 male which is his) (Females: blue, pink, red ; Male: purple)
- went out in the afternoon with my dad again to get some of his stuff around town area
- went out with my granny, parents and aunties to a Japanese restaurant at Bukit Timah for buffet dinner ( SGD 30+++ per person)
- running nose got worst

Sunday:
- woke up with blocked nose and honking my nose away
- knew I was sick already
- took anti-histamines to lessen the flu effects but no use

Monday:
- fell ill with bad flu
- was given 2 days of MC to rest
- informed my manager and she sounded unhappy (duh, like how many managers/bosses will be more sympathetic towards their staff for being sick instead of being unhappy with their staff?)
- conked out for the whole late morning until early evening after taking piriton, fedac, anarex, dhasedyl and amoxicillin

Tuesday:
- still on MC
- felt slightly better enough to meet my insurance agent for lunch at Sakae Sushi and chamomile tea at Starbucks
- had a 'sexy' and husky voice (like shit!)

Wednesday:
- back to work
- my manager sarcastically commented that the MC I had taken was very long
- my manager refused to talk nicely to me and even ignored me

Thursday:
* read previous post*

Friday:
- my manager tried to avoid me whenever she could
- was told indirectly to get my flu vaccine done by next Monday
- came back home to have realize that 1 of my fighter fish had killed another fighter fish (Haiz, what to do? guess the pink fish must be 'jealous' of the red one and fought.)
- now suffering insomnia again... so here I am typing away in the early morning hours of Saturday)

Countdown: 18 Days More

1) Signed my consent today at last.
2) Realized that I need not do financial counselling as I have already found out the pricing of the operation.
3) Informed that I could do without all those pre-admission blood test, Chest X-ray and stuff as the operation SHOULD be relatively safe as I was still young.
4) Double confirmed my operation date (29 Oct 2007)
5) Attended course

True

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm
I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?
[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

PS: Should I die during my operation, can someone please tell my husband that I love him...

Counting Down... 27 Days More To Dooms Day

Went for my breast surgeon review with regards to my breast lump. I went for it with an optimistic feeling that it would nothing more than a fibroadenoma which could be left alone until it gives me furthur problem. But NO! I was wrong, Dr Tan YY told me that it has a 5-7% chance of it being malignant (aka cancerous). Thus, her suggestion was to do biopsy to get it tested to check if it is malignant or benign... I had to choose between 3 options: core-biopsy, vacuum biopsy or open biopsy.
After much thinking, discussion with Baku and many second opinions from my GCC doctors & colleagues, I have decided to go with open biopsy as I would really like to get this lump over and done with. Scary but I had to make the decision somehow...
Wish me all the luck I need...

On a happier note, I did 'volunteer work' for my patient, who was too weak after her chemotherapy to get her white blood cell booster jab done at KKH. Hence, I went to her house after work today to give her the jab.... She was quite appreciative of my effort and somehow, I feel better emotionally after chatting with her. Must do more of such charity work often... It somehow helps to alleviate your mood...

Life Has Its Highs & Lows

Today, I...
1) recieved my confirmation letter! (I am an official staff of KKH.)
2) ate hairy crab. ( I went to NTUC and so I bought them for a treat for my Mum & Dad -In Law.)

Tomorrow, I...
1) would be seeing my breast specialist for her opinion on what I should do about the breast lump aka adenofibroma.
2) would be very busy in my clinic doing LEEP and running Dr Lee IW session clinic...